A bit of fun with a straight guy

If I'm paying attention when someone contacts me on the gaydar chat system, I usually say something back immediately, even before I've seen the profile of the guy who's contacting me. For some reason though, I think I'm in the minority on this. When I contact other guys, its rare that a response comes back quickly. But I can see the logic in looking at a stranger's profile before saying anything back. I guess this is just another aspect of my "jump in both feet first without considering the consequences" outlook on life!

Anyway, I'm logged into gaydar chat system at the weekend a couple of weeks ago when a guy starts chatting to me

guy: hi, r u there, nice profile
GB: thanks

As usual, I responded without looking at his profile. So while waiting for his response I go and see what he has to say about himself. His profile title is "Friendly fun", which sounds good.

guy: I'd love a session with you sometime
GB: ok gr8, where in London are you?

Although it turns out that he's not that close to me, it'd be an easy tube journey so I'm happy to visit him. But when?

GB: wud it be OK to visit now?
guy: sure if ur quick, I gotta go out early pm

We exchange mobile phone numbers and soon I'm on my way. While walking to the tube station I give him a call.

"Hi this is GB", I start, "I'm almost at the tube station at my end. Can you tell me your exact address so I'll know where to go at the other end?"

For some reason he doesn't want to mention the name of the road he lives on, instead he gives me precise directions to his flat.

"Go up the steps to get out of the tube station, turn left, walk on past the bus stop ...."

I make a mental note to work out the name of the road before I arrive. Then I'll be able to ask him "Wouldn't it have been simpler just to tell me that the address is Flat XXX, House Number YYY in ZZZ street?"

In fact the flat is very close to the tube station at the other end and thanks to his accurate directions I have no trouble finding it (or in working out the name of the road). I ring the doorbell for the flat and he buzzes me in.

Inside there's a short hallway, followed by a staircase. I head up the staircase and just as I reach the first floor landing he opens the door to let me in.

"Hi, come on in", he said in a friendly voice, holding the door open with one hand and a half-smoked cigarette in the other. I'm not that keen on smokers, but I guess I would have asked while we were chatting on gaydar if I was that bothered about it. Face to face he's got quite a heterosexual manner about him.

It's a small flat, just a bathroom, small kitchen, and one medium-sized room for everything else. Out of the window from the main room the only view seems to be the tube lines, which on this part of the line are overground. Judging by the unemptied ash trays, I guess that he doesn't employ a cleaner.

Once I'm inside the main room I turn round to smile at him and he smiles back, rubbing himself in his crotch.

"Hang on", I say, "let me get my kit off!"

As I strip off, he drops the loose tracksuit bottoms that he's wearing and starts playing with himself. I strip off everything except my undershorts and walk over to him, putting my hand on his shoulder. Once I'm standing next to him he stops playing with himself and gives me a smile.

"Why don't you drop your undershorts too and come over to the bed", he says in a quiet, matter-of-fact sort of voice.

Once on the bed though he's a bit of a lump, and I have to do all the work. I notice that he's got quite small nipples, which reminds me of the married Belgian guy I met last year. Eventually, one at a time, we both reach an adequate conclusion.

As I'm getting dressed, I notice a big black-and-white arty poster of a naked woman on his wall. The woman is outside by a car, and it's clearly meant to be Marilyn Munroe.

"Are you gay or straight mate?" I ask him. "That's a nice poster, but it's a bit unusual for a gay guy!"

"Oh, I'm mostly gay I think", he says.

But I'm not convinced. He's started smoking again and standing in the middle of the room, he suddenly reminds me of Eddie Izzard, the British comedian who jokes that he's a lesbian trapped in a man's body. Well, given what we've just done this guy can't be completely straight, but by my reckoning he's a lot straighter than he's admitting!