Nightmare

"I just assumed it was because he's a Northern European guy," says boyfriend number 2, "because I once had another boyfriend from Northern Europe, and he didn't shower enough either."

"What?" say boyfriend number 1 and boyfriend number 3 together.

"Don't put me in the same category as GB!" says boyfriend number 1.

"Or me!" says boyfriend number 3.

"But you guys have a cold climate," explains boyfriend number 2, "so it's natural that you won't be used to taking as many showers as guys like me coming from a more humid climate."

"That's as maybe," replies boyfriend number 1, looking slightly indignant, "but I've been telling GB that he should wash more ever since I've known him!"

"Well somehow I think I've succeeded a bit," grins boyfriend number 2, "because whenever we've been on holiday together, I've made it clear that he can't get into bed with me at night unless he's had a shower first :-)."

"You know, the first time I met him," says boyfriend number 3, "I didn't think that he could have showered before he came to meet me. At the time he told me that he had taken a shower, although eventually when I got to know him better he admitted that he'd lied about that."

"And another thing," interrupts boyfriend number 1, "he's always online. He can't be cruising all the time, but I've got no idea what else he does! I guess I've been assuming that he's chatting to you guys?"

"Actually we used to chat on MSN," says boyfriend number 2, "but we got out of the habit of doing that, maybe a year ago. Now you mention it though, he's also online a lot when he's with me. Whenever we're away together, he definitely spends a lot more time online that I do."

"I think we should try and teach him a lesson somehow," says boyfriend number 3 darkly. "What about ... "

All of a sudden I wake up in a cold sweat. It's not time to get up yet, and boyfriend number 1 is sound asleep beside me, but I've just had the most terrible nightmare. Somehow, all my boyfriends had got together and they were discussing my faults :-(. Heaven help me if that ever actually happens!