A session with a Rock Star

Looking back over the years, I can see that my sexual behaviour goes through different phases. Sometime I’ll be more focused on boyfriend number 1, sometimes I’ll be keen on internet cruising, sometimes I’ll be keen on sauna fun, and so on.

About five years ago I was going through an internet cruising phase. To be honest, I guess these phases are the most common! It’s Saturday morning and I've been logged into gaydar for a while when I get an online message from a guy who I'm going to call Q.

Q: hi mate nice profile got any face pics?

I've had photos on my gaydar profile for ages but for various reasons I've never had any public photos showing my face. So I send Q some pics with my face in:

GB: hi m8 thx for msg, face pics attached, have you got any pics with your face in?

Like me, Q has body pics on his profile, but no face pics. It doesn't take long to get a reply:

Q: sorry no more pics at this end. I like ur profile though, u wanna visit?

I'm not sure without seeing a pic of his face. But if he doesn't live too far away, it might be worth the risk.

GB: could do. where exactly in London are you?

When his reply arrives I deduce that he's less than a mile away, which is good news. After thinking about it for a bit, and re-reading his profile, I'm actually start looking forward to visiting him, so I go to send him another online message. However I get the following

GAYDAR: You are only a gaydar guest, your daily online message quota has been reached. Click to upgrade.

Damm, damm, damm, damm, damm. I'd exchanged a few online messages with another couple of guys before Q contacted me, so that must have used up most of my daily quota. This has never happened to me before, and since I'm in mid-conversation and looking forward to meeting Q, I guess I'll have to buy a gaydar membership to continue. Of course it's not expensive, but 5 years ago I'd never paid for gaydar before. Perhaps this is how they end up getting a lot of people to sign up?

It takes a few minutes to find my credit card, and a few more to go through the sign up procedure. Luckily membership is instant, and eventually I'm in a position to send Q another online message

GB: i'm quite close to u so would be gr8 to visit, do u have a mobile phone number I can call u on?

This time I have to wait a bit for the reply but eventually it comes

Q: that took u a while, thought u'd gone off the idea. My mobile number is xxxxx-xxxxxx but now not convenient for a visit, how about 2pm?

I was hoping to visit immediately of course, but early afternoon works too. So I send him a txt msg to check that I've got the right number, and soon it's all agreed.

Around 1:45pm I tell boyfriend number 1 that I'm off to the gym and set off. As soon as I get round the corner, I give Q a phone call. He answers his phone quite quickly

"Is that Q?" I ask. "I'm on my way, is it still convenient for me to visit?"

"What was your profile name again", he says. This is the first time I've heard his voice of course. My gaydar profile name sounds a bit rude so I'm a little reluctant to say it aloud in public, but somehow I manage to tell him without being heard.

"OK how long will it take you to get here?"

"It's probably less than a fifteen minute walk", I say.

"See you soon then, give me a call if you get lost".

Since he wanted to know my gaydar profile name I start wondering how many other guys from gaydar he's got lined up to visit him. Never mind, if I've got the 2-2.15pm slot then I suppose that's fine by me.

I arrive around 2pm as planned and ring the door bell. It doesn't take him long to open the door. "Hi, come on in", he says smiling at me. His gaydar profile said he was 36 years old, but if that's accurate he must have had a very hard life.

"Where do you want me then", I say smiling back at him once he's closed the door.

"Lets go upstairs, straight ahead there".

As I'm heading up the stairs I look back at him. "You look familiar", I say. "Don't I know you from somewhere?"

He briefly thinks about this before answering. "Yes you look familiar too. Well since we both live in the same area, I guess we've seen each other in the local gay pubs?"

"Yes", I say feeling a bit uncertain. I don't go into the gay pubs that much any more. "I suppose you must be right". What other explanation could there be?

Once inside the bedroom on the first floor I start undressing. Wooden floorboards, sparse furniture, clean white counterpane on the bed. "Nice place you've got here", I say casually.

"Thanks. What do you do for a living?"

"Oh, I work for a bank."

"Really?" he says with a mischievous grin, "I love men in suits!"

By now, he's sitting on the side of the bed and I'm standing in front of him, just wearing my undershorts. He smiles up at me and feels me through the undershorts, as though he's trying to gauge the weight of my tackle.

"I'd love to suck you!"

Well we didn't discuss that online but I'd certainly enjoy that. "That'd be nice", I say, trying to encourage him.

"No, not today. But I could do! Don't you see, I could do!!" He's got an almost aggressive tone in his voice.

I don't really see what he means so I ignore the comment. He nods me over to the bed as he takes off his trousers, leaving his t-shirt on. It turns out he's been wearing his trousers commando-style because now I can see his tackle. Even flaccid it looks enormous! He comes over to join me on the bed and we end up having a very enjoyable time.

Afterwards, I need a pee. "Is there a toilet I can use?" I ask.

"Sure, room next to this".

I wander into the adjacent room, still naked. I don't bother to close the door, and looking up once I've started peeing I can see him watching me pee from the bedroom. Why's he looking at me like that? He's probably just eyeing me up and down trying to work out whether I'm worth inviting back for a repeat performance sometime!

Back in his bedroom, we chat a bit about the gay scene in London as I'm getting dressed.

"It's amazing how many guys there are on gaydar these days", I say.

"Yeah. It's because historically british guys have been so repressed about being gay", he says confidently.

"Do you really think so?"

"Definitely. For years it was all hidden, but now there's an outlet for it all so it's all come to the surface".

Again I'm not sure I follow his line of thinking. Before homosexuality was de-criminalised gay life was represssed, but that was in the late 1960's. We're in the 21st century now.

"It might be nice to see you again", I say casually as I'm walking down the stairs.

"Sure. Wear a suit next time!" he says grinning.

"OK sure, that's possible if I visit you after work".

About three hours later, I'm sitting at home watching some drab late afternoon television to kill some time before going out to visit some friends with boyfriend number 1.

"Why don't you put MTV on instead of that rubbish?" says boyfriend number 1 helpfully.

Watching MTV I think back to the fun earlier in the afternoon, and a strange thought suddenly occurs to me. That guy I met looked quite like a well known gay pop singer from the 1980's. I sit there thinking and I start smiling, almost laughing to myself. Hang on, that guy looked VERY like a well known gay pop singer from the 1980's. It can't have been can it? Where can I get a picture of him from?

Five minutes later I've looked him up on the internet and I feel such a fool! No wonder he looked so familiar. What rubbish that he came out with about how I looked familiar too! Still, perhaps if I'd recognised him he wouldn't have been so relaxed and we might not have had such a good time.

The next day I send him a gaydar online message but when I look up his profile his account has become inactive.

These days Boyfriend number 1 sometimes tells me that he's seen Q in the local area. There's no doubt it was him. Although I've admitted a lot to boyfriend number 1 over the last few months, I still haven't confessed to having had a session with a Rock Star. I'm not sure he'd believe me!