Thursday, July 20, 2006

The Man from Fridae.com (part 1/3)

In the past I've always ignored Fridae because most of the users seem to live in Asia whereas I live in London. But the long (pointless!) conversation I had with a guy who originally found me on Fridae made me realise that some of the users live here in the UK. So last April I decided to see whether it’s possible to find guys for fun in London using Fridae.

I’ve mentioned before that Fridae has the rather cute concept of hearts. If you find a guy attractive you send him a heart, just to let him know that you've seen his profile and might perhaps be interested in him. The fact that everyone can see how many hearts you've been sent though has led to what boyfriend number 2 calls the heart tarts. These are the guys who just send you a heart in the hope that you'll send one back and increase their heart count! But hopefully they're in the minority. Anyway, most of the guys who've sent me hearts since I've had a Fridae profile look like lovely guys, so I decide to follow up all hearts I get sent by guys who live in London.

Sometime in May my first opportunity arises when a nice looking Asian guy who lives in London sends me a heart. Fridae is more relationship oriented than the gaydar/gay.com meat markets, so to avoid any misunderstanding I send him a mail message which makes it clear that I'm only really interested in fun

Hi mate, thanks for the heart :-). I’m not sure what you’re looking for but I generally only use fridae to find no-strings fun with other guys. It looks like you live in London, as do I, so if you can accom I’d be interested to visit you sometime? GB xxx

And then I have to wait of course. For a guy who's used to the immediate nature of chatting on gaydar and gay.com it seems like an awfully slow way to communicate! But after a day or two I get a nice reply

Hi GB, Thanks for the message. I live in Central London and can accommodate. Do you have a face pic you can send me and what is your situation? Married or have boy friend? I can be discreet if required. It would be nice to meet and we can take it from there. R

Wow, how can he tell that I’ve got a partner? Perhaps the "no-strings fun" is a give away, coupled with the fact that I don't have a face pic on my profile? Anyway, it's a positive mail message so I tell him where to find my face pics.

Hi R, actually I do have a boyfriend so your discretion is appreciated! You can find my pics on the web at http://xxxxxxxxxxxxxx, hope we can meet sometime, GB xx

Again, after a day or two I get a reply

Hi GB, thanks for your pics. They look good. It would be nice to meet sometime. When are you free to meet for a drink and chat. I suppose after that, we can take it from there. I work and live quite centrally so happy to meet for a drink if you’re still interested. Let me know. R

And so it goes on. It seems that’s he’s quite a busy guy, and it turns out to be difficult to find a time when we’re both free! After a few more mail messages, I have a suggestion

Hi again R, I’ll be free early Sunday afternoon if that’s any use? I usually go for a run late morning with some guys from the gym I go to, but I’ll be free afterwards? Hope to meet you soon, GB xxx

Luckily it turns out that he can just about squeeze me into his diary!

Where is your gym? Is it around town? I have a bbq to attend around 2pm Sunday [but i can turn up a tad late] , so might be able to meet quickly after your run. i don't have a place though as my flatmate will be in, but will be nice to meet for a drink and chat, and maybe go somewhere if all goes well. R

So I send him a positive reply, and after a couple more mail messages we’ve exchanged mobile phone numbers and everything is sorted.

The style of hooking up with guys on fridae seems very different to the instant satisfaction that’s possible with gaydar and gay.com. It’s taken about two weeks to set up this meeting. Although I like the sound of “and maybe go somewhere if all goes well”, if we can’t go back to his place, and given that he’s got a barbecue to go to, I guess it won’t be on the first meeting. The whole experience is far more like dating than cruising, which actually is quite refreshing.

Anyway, he looks great on his profile, I'll be in a good mood after my run, so back in June I could hardly wait for the following Sunday afternoon to arrive.

[to be continued]

5 comments:

Amopodex said...

Good luck for Sunday. Like you, I had never thought to use Fridae in the UK, perhaps I should too!

No.22 said...

Oh what i'd give just to live a day in your life!

Why can I never find guys in the UK on Fridae?!

x

Chris said...

That sounds less like hooking up and more like finding a date!

Jinx said...

All that effort just for sex? How strenuous!

Perhaps you'll be asking the bf/fb question as you wouldn't want all that energy put into hooking up to go to waste!

Gay banker said...

Dunno why you don't have any luck on Fridae No.22. Although I think it's more common for Asian guys to hook up with guys a bit older than them so perhaps you'll have more luck when you're slightly older?

There's never been any doubt in my mind jinx that this guy is a potential bf#4 !

GB xxx