The trouble with London taxis in December

"Actually I'll be away next month, in the run-up to Christmas", I told the cabbie on the way home this evening, "which is just as well because it's always murder finding taxis in December".

"Yeah, but it's good for us though! Although we have to try and make half January's money during the Christmas rush".

"The trouble is", I moan, "there are regular cab users like me, who take cabs all year round, but we're often stranded in December unable to find taxis because they're all full with people who only use them once a year! There should be a loyalty system to help us out somehow."

Although I can't conceive of any way that a London taxi loyalty system could work, advocating the idea when this topic of conversation comes up always makes me feel a bit better.

"Yeah, you get all the office nutters during the Christmas party season, and you can spot them a mile off. They probably drink lager shandy all year round, but because it's the office Christmas party and it's been free drink, they've been on the vodka/Red-Bull. You usually find them standing on the street corners late at night, with their shirts hanging out. They often come in pairs, hanging onto each other to keep themselves upright, and with reindeer antlers on their head. And in fact, us cabbies would much rather take fares from regular cab users!"

We both laugh.

"Tell you what", he continues, "if I've got one of these Christmas clowns in my cab and I see you trying to get a cab, I'll turf 'im out take pick you up!"

We both laugh again. But we both know it'll never happen :-(.