A failed meeting along the river bank

Last Tuesday I’m eating my breakfast and reading the news online while passively logged into gaydar in the background. I’m about to log off when a guy contacts me, who’s interested in a meeting.

“Where are you in London?” I ask him.

“I’ve checked the GPS”, he tells me, “and we’re only about a mile and a half from each other.”

GPS in this context isn’t the Global Positioning System that the USA created; it’s the Gaydar Positioning Service and it works really well. If both Gaydar users have entered their postcode or ZIP code, Gaydar tells them both how far they are apart. It works internationally too which is impressive, although not particularly useful. But within a city like London it’s terrific, because there’s a big difference between being 1 mile apart and 10 miles apart.

“Can you accom?” he continues.

“No sorry, can you?” I would never have another guy round to the house I share with boyfriend number 1, even if boyfriend number 1 is out.

“No, I can’t accom either, but perhaps we could find somewhere quiet outside?”

“I’ve always fancied trying changing rooms in menswear departments, especially if they’ve got big mirrors in them”, I suggest playfully, “although I’ve never tried out this idea”.

After a bit of further discussion, we agree to meet along a quiet section of river bank which is probably about half way between the two of us. The guy reckons there are some secluded bushes near a bridge.

”By the way, do you have any pics?” I ask.

“No sorry.”

Hmm, I think, guys without pics are less trustworthy.

“Well do you have a mobile phone? I reckon it’s always a good idea to speak to someone before meeting them. And in this situation it’ll be useful in case we can’t find each other.”

“No sorry, I don’t have a mobile. But if I don’t turn up, don’t wait more than 10 minutes, so you don’t really lose anything.”

Guys without pics and mobile phones are even less reliable but reluctantly I agree.

When I get there, it turns out that the iron gate to the path we intend to walk along is closed because there’s some maintenance work scheduled. Great, I think, we can easily jump the gate we’ll be guaranteed to find somewhere quiet in the bushes.

But I wait for 15 minutes and the guy doesn’t show up. Stupid, stupid, stupid me! When will I learn to avoid guys who show such strong signs of being unreliable?