Thursday, May 05, 2005

Gay guy devastated by boyfriend moving in with a lesbian to father a child

Last Tuesday I log on to gaydar and before work and within 10 minutes a guy from contacts me for a bit of fun. We exchange photos and I see he's got quite a cute goatee beard. We agree that I'll visit him immediately. This is the third time in the last three weeks that has proved superior to gaydar in finding guys of me to have fun with (Fun before work on a Monday morning (again!)).

Within 45 minutes I arrive at his flat. I notice immediately that he no longer has his goatee, and his face is a bit blotchy. He seems a bit edgy. "Can I have a glass of water?" I ask him, to give him something to do.

While he's getting the water I take off most of my clothes. I wonder how many guys he meets like this so I ask him, to help break the ice. “Do you meets many guys from the Internet?”

“You're the first one for at least eighteen months”, he tells me cautiously.

“I'll take that as a no”, I say, smiling at him. “Why don’t you meet more guys?”

“Opportunity”, he says. I’m not exactly sure what he means but somehow it doesn’t seem appropriate to follow up.

He decides to put some porn on the TV. But before we get started he turns a photo of a guy round to hide the guy's face. “Is that an ex?” I ask, still smiling.

“No”, he says, without explanation. Why won't this guy relax? How can I get him to relax?

“Do you like cuddling”, I ask.

“Not really”.

He seems very keen to keep his distance, very strange. Soon he wants take his shorts off. “I'm wearing a cock-ring”, he says, almost apologising for it. In the end he does touch me a bit and we both end up reaching a reasonable conclusion. But afterwards he says “Hmmm, I won’t be doing this again” and he looks very uneasy.

Gradually I find out a bit more about his situation. “Do you have a boyfriend at the moment then?”

“Yes, but he’s at work”, he says cautiously.

“Ahhh I see. How long have you been together?”

“About a year and a half”. Of course, this corresponds to the length of time since he’s met guys from the Internet. So something must have happened in their relationship recently. I don’t need to ask.

“But he’s moving out. He’s going to father a baby with a female friend of his and the two of them are going to live together. We had a long discussion about the situation last night.”

Ahhh, so I’ve walked into the middle of a domestic situation. It’s clearly hard for the poor guy to talk about this. I want to go and comfort him by putting my arm round him or something. But since he didn’t like cuddling before, he’s probably going to be even more hostile to the idea now.

“Is your boyfriend bi then?” I ask.

“No definitely gay. And his female friend is 100% lesbian. I’m sorry about all of this, I’m very confused at the moment. He says he still wants to be my boyfriend.”

I have a strong impression that the guy feels so bad about the situation that he’s taken a day off work. I really want to hug him or something. Before I leave he shows me some pictures. I ask if any of the other guys in the photos are his boyfriend but he shakes his head. Slowly he finds a picture of the two of them together.

I notice that in the photo there's the same goatee beard that I'd seen on his internet photo so I ask him about it. “Yes, I only shaved it off last night to try and make myself look a bit younger”.

On the way out I go to kiss him goodbye but he declines, “Please let’s keep our distance”. Poor guy. I hope he manages to work it all out.

No comments: