Drinks evenings for gay London bankers

Although I've been working as an investment banker in London since I left university in the late 1980's, until recently I was unaware that there's a regular social gathering in London for gay bankers to meet other gay bankers. Curiously, within the space of a couple of days I was told about these events by two different people (one of whom is one of my readers and who recently started his own blog).

The drinks evenings seem to take place around the middle of the month, in a smart venue in The City of London. Inspired by the soccer World Cup no doubt, the invite to the recent event carried a rather horny picture of a few footballer's legs, together with the wording:

Please join us at the Interbank drinks evening: supporting a gay, lesbian, bisexual and transgender space in the City. Interbank drinks is a professional networking event that offers the opportunity to meet and socialise with other LGBT people working within the financial services industry in an informal business environment.

I have yet to attend one of these events, however I've been in touch with the organisers for more information. The format is basically drinks after work on a weekday evening, with anywhere from 120 to 200 people attending. It's apparently organic socialising rather than introductions, so people who go along tend to bring a friend initially to avoid having no one to talk to! The event is organised by the LGBT Interbank Forum, which is a committee that aims:

• To create an open and inclusive forum for LGBT employees from the Investment Banking community to meet and discuss issues impacting LGBT employees in their day-to-day work environment.
• To enable the sharing of best practices between the employee networks of the member banks so as to assist them to cultivate an environment that is inclusive and supportive of LGBT employees.
• To provide a forum for developing an appropriate collective response to LGBT issues that benefits each of the member banks and reflects positively on the Investment Banking industry's commitment to the LGBT community.
• To promote and encourage networking opportunities for the members of the employee networks of member banks.

So presumably there are a few core banks ("member banks") who set the whole thing up.

How come I've only heard of this recently? There was definitely nothing like this when I started working in the investment banking business all those years ago. One of the four aims above implies that it's related to the existence of the gay networking groups that all the main banks seem to have these days just for their own staff. Earlier in my career I might well have attended an event organised by such a group. But even though I've heard of these internal networking groups at a couple of the banks that I've worked for over the last few years, I always thought that any internal event would be a bit dull so I never bothered to investigate. However Interbank drinks, with gay guys from across the whole City, is a much more exciting prospect :-).

Anyway, if there are any gay bankers who read my blog who want to know more, I'll happily try and put you in touch with the organisers. Just send me an e-mail, and I'll forward it on.

Meanwhile, I must try and attend one of these drinks evenings. Having worked in The City for so long, there's bound to be someone that I'll meet there who I didn't know was gay, and that's always an entertaining experience!

Update 14-Oct-2012: see my post about the interbank web site.

Sunday fun with a French guy from Burgundy

It's Sunday, the day after I met the untidy Asian guy, and I'm logged into gaydar while eating my breakfast. Suddenly a guy sends me an online message:

Guy: morning would luv watchin u wankin man

Well that's a nice direct proposition :-)! But a lot of exhibitionism and voyeurism takes place online these days using cams, and I don't have a cam.

GB: :-) where are you mate, I don't have cam, but happy to visit if you're not too far from me

Soon I get a reply, and in fact he is quite close to me. It's definitely possible!

Guy: so would u like 2 come over n show me u wankin:-)

GB: yeah sure :-) Do you have a mobile phone number? BTW, my name is GB, u?

He gives me his mobile phone number and his name. But it's an interesting name,

GB: Sent u a txt msg to check so that you'll have my mobile number too. With a name like that are you French?

Guy: ok got text from u just now thx, yeah im french, u like wankin for french guys?

GB: Oui, j'aime me branler pour les mecs francais

No doubt my French is a bit ropey, but hopefully my intention is clear!

Guy: lol ok great. need 2 shower now text me when u free if u want we can meet n c, luv watchin guy wankin, let me know wot time is good 4 u. thx

As usual when there's the possibility of some fun, I prefer to meet at once. Another problem of course is that on Sunday mornings I'll often go for a run along the river with some guys from the gym I go to. Delaying the fun means I'll probably have to skip the run today :-(.

GB: well I could come over now? Looking forward to meeting u, GB x

So far, this conversation has all been via the gaydar online message system, but suddenly I get a txt msg on my mobile phone

Guy: Having a shower now and text u after. Thx

Well that's quite clear, I can't visit him yet. Still, he seems quite keen so there's definitely a strong possibility of meeting this guy. I'll just have to go for a run later on my own, or do a weights workout instead.

But forty-five minutes pass and I don't hear anything. Well I'm definitely not going to miss my run if this guy isn't going to meet me, so I send him a txt msg

GB: I'm off to gym now. Pls txt me now if you want me to visit you first.

I get a reply almost immediately

Guy: OK no problem u can come as long as u understand no pressure if it work fine it doesn't fine 2. Give me a call as need 2 hear ur voice I'll give the address

What a nice choice I've got :-). I could either go to the gym for a run, or visit a French guy for a wank session. As usual of course, it's the trouser department which makes the decision

"Hi this is GB", I say on my phone a few minutes later, "so what's your address?"

Within 20 minutes I've walked round to his appartment block, he's buzzed me into the building, and I'm knocking on his door.

"Would you like a tea or coffee or something", he offers once I'm inside. He's got a gorgeous, sexy French accent. Immediately I hope that he might be up for a bit more than just watching me wank off.

"Thanks, any chance of a glass of water?"

"I've got the kettle on anyway", he says. "I'm having a coffee. I can do you a herbal tea if you prefer?"

In the end I settle for a herbal tea that he recommends. By the time he's finished making it, I've casually removed the gym top that I was wearing when I arrived, so that I'm now bare-chested.

"Hmmm nice", he says, "you don't waste any time do you?"

We move into his lounge area, and sit down opposite each other with our drinks on the coffee table in between.

"I guess you go to the gym quite a bit", he says, looking me up and down.

"Well I'd be there now actually, if you hadn't invited me over :-)"

While I'm chatting to him, I take off my socks and trainers, and soon I'm naked except for my blue gym shorts. He starts looking intently at my shorts, so I slip my hand inside and gently start playing with myself. He watches my hand just moving around inside, and then after a minute or so I gradually edge my shorts down. Boing :-))

"Well, there we are, eh!" he says appreciating my little show.

After another minute or so I look up and see that he's playing with himself too.

"Why don't we both go into my bedroom to continue", he says nervously. Perhaps he's worried that I'll turn him down. But I don't, and we have a lovely, although relatively quick session.

"So whereabouts in France are you from?" I ask him when we're back in his lounge area.

"Just South of Dijon", he says, "a town called Beaune, do you know it?"

"Do I know Beaune? Do I know Beaune?" I say excitedly. "Of course I do, it's at the heart of Burgundy and I just LOVE Burgundy wine. I've even buy some of the best ones as a long term investment."

"Really, what exactly?"

"Well for investment in Burgundy wines I reckon you have to go for DRC or similar. I'm certainly not rich enough to drink wines like that though", I admit. "I've never actually drunk any Romanée-Conti, but I have had some La Tache when other people were paying!"

"Wow, you're talking about the very best there", he says. "But do you drink it too, or just buy as an investment."

"Yeah I also drink it, the cheaper stuff, though not too cheap! I tend to buy by the case."

"What exactly?"

"Well, I'm half way through a couple of cases of Volnay premier crus at the moment, one from 1997 and the other from 1999. The Beaune premier crus I've got from 1995 are stunning too, but unfortunately I've almost finished those off! Do you drink much wine?"

"I think you have more expensive tastes than me", he says enviously, "but I do like good Burgundy wine too. How can you afford that stuff?"

"I work for a bank actually so I'm reasonably well paid", I confess. "I also know a couple of places where one can buy good wine at more reasonable prices that the high street off licence!"

We chat about French wine for a while, but soon it's time to go. I need to get to the gym, and he's meeting a friend for lunch.

Meeting guys for fun is a very enjoyable hobby, and fine wine is a nice hobby two. It's great to be able to enjoy two hobbies with the same person, even if it's a bit bizarre being watched wanking one minute and talking about fine wine the next!

Ethnic bias of the Yahoo avatar's

In a comment to the post about my Avatar, Legal-ize-IT suggested that I do Avatar's for my various boyfriends. But I can't, not in any satisfactory way anyway! Boyfriend number 2 is from Singapore, and although boyfriend number 3 is British, he is ethnically Indian. Everything I see at the Yahoo avatar web site looks Caucasian to me.

Beyond that, although it is possible to alter the skin colour, if I was a very black African (e.g. Nigerian) then it wouldn't be possible to create a skin colour dark enough. Also, saddle-up said I was "tres cute" - but then I reckon all the possible avatars from Yahoo look quite cute! Why can't I put an older face on my Avatar's body. I don't want to pretend that I'm 21 years old any more - I've been with boyfriend number 1 since 1989!

Am I missing something? If anyone knows of a less biased web site for avatars then please let me know!

My Avatar

I've added my Avatar to the side bar on the right hand side of this blog because I keep getting requests from people who want to know what I look like. So now you know!

Gay Banker interviews Saf

Although I've now interviewed nine people, they've all been gay guys. So it was with a great deal of trepidation that I agreed to interview Saf, a sixteen year old teenage girl who lives in Canada.

In spite of her young age, it's clear that she's already had an interesting life. Having been born in Canada, she went to live in California for a few years, only to return to Canada when her father died.

The fact that an interview like this can occur is a triumph for the egalitarian ideals of the internet. How else would it be possible for a gay male sex maniac like me to interview a young woman who has yet to lose her virginity?

I had to make a decision when drafting these questions of course. Should I make allowances for her tender young age and perhaps ask her questions about her favourite childhood pastimes? Given what she's posted to her blog so far, I don't think that would be at all appropriate! So Saf, without further ado, here are my interview questions:

1. Lets examine the evidence. You've a regular visitor to my blog, GayBoyDiary's blog, and Saddle-up's blog, and all three of us are gay guys. You're also close friends with a gay guy of your own age. So do you worry about what life is going to be like as a fag hag?


2. Imagine: following an unimaginable global cataclysm, you and me are the last human beings left alive. In a heroic gesture I agree to help you repopulate the Earth. What do our kids turn out like?


3. So far, at least, you've successfully kept your virginity. But to satisfy my readers depraved minds, and to give you something to look back on, can you describe how you hope the event will happen?


4. When you say your mother describes you as wise beyond your years, I can't help myself thinking of precocious rude kid Eric Cartman from the cartoon South Park. Is comparing you to Cartman unfair, or are there any ways in which it's justified?


5. And finally, you've lived in both Canada and the USA. Can you name one aspect of Canadian life that you think the USA lacks, and one aspect of American life that you think Canada lacks?

Update: Saf has posted some great answers.

The next interview candidate is Will. I'll try and get his questions out over the next three weeks or so.

Ask Muffie

A couple of days ago, Marc Shivers was kind enough to explain Dealbreaker's Muffie to me, in response to my request for help. But would Muffie respond if I asked her a question? To find out, before I went into the bank this morning I posted a comment to dealbreaker.com which requested a response from Muffie:

There’s a lot of eye-candy on the trading floor of any Investment Bank :-). As a gay man I’ve always found the testosterone filled atmosphere generated by the fit guys on the spot FX trading desk particularly intoxicating. But which traders are gay, and perhaps up for finding somewhere private for a bit of fun at lunchtime? I find it very hard to tell in that situation, does Muffie have any tips to help me?

GB xxx

Hindsight is a wonderful thing. If I'd have thought about this a bit more in advance, I would have asked a different question. I've said before that to continue writing this blog I need to preserve my anonymity. But if you read Muffie's reply, you're all going to know how to identify me!

An enjoyable session with an untidy Asian guy

It’s the last Saturday in May and I’m in a cab on my way to visit a young Asian guy who had contacted me earlier on gay.com. After chatting for around 20 minutes, we’d agreed that it would be fun for me to visit him, although he then said that I had to arrive around 1pm. Luckily though, that time suited me perfectly :-).

“I’m going to have to take this turning 'ere”, says the cabbie, turning into a narrow one-way street, “'cos the road we wanna go down is closed off at the moment”.

OK, sure, whatever, just get me there! I’m thinking much more about what I’ll be doing once I’m alone with the guy at the destination, rather than trying to decide on what route we should go. And as I think more and more about the imminent activities I have to move my hands to hide my enthusiasm.

I arrive at 1pm, exactly on time, and standing in front of the door I realise that there’s no doorbell. Ahhh well, guess I’ll just have to knock loudly. A minute afterwards and I’m still standing there, perhaps I didn’t knock loudly enough? Then suddenly I can hear some scuffles behind the door. The door opens, and not one but two Asian guys are standing there. Two gorgeous looking Asian guys in fact :-), perhaps this is my lucky day?

“Errr, is that GB”, said the guy furthest from the door sheepishly.

“Yeah hi”, I say smiling politely, “it sure is :-)”.

The guy closest to the door mumbles something inaudible and disappears, leaving me with the guy who I came to see. He’s a good match to the photo I saw online.

“Come in. I was going to txt you to say phone me when you got here, but guess I ran out of time!”

Thought so! No doubt he’d prefer his flatmates not to meet visitors like me. As I enter, I spot that he’s got a toothbrush in his hand. Now that’s a promising sign, I certainly prefer guys with good oral hygiene :-). Once inside, I follow him along the corridor before heading up the stairs.

“Go in there and make yourself at home while I finish off”, he says, disappearing into the bathroom.

Left to fend for myself, I feel like I’ve being fitted into the guy’s over-busy schedule. I must have been booked in for the 1pm-1:15pm slot, but thanks perhaps to a previous engagement over-running it’s now to be 1.05pm-1:20pm instead! No matter, once he's finished his duties in the bathroom I'll certainly enjoy kissing him.

But the clean living image that I’d been forming of this guy shatters as soon as I walk into his bedroom. It’s a complete mess, even worse than the room of the young Malaysian guy that I’d visited a couple of months ago.

There’s a big double bed in the middle of the room, but no sheets, blankets or duvet, just the bare mattress. And scattered on top of the mattress and all around on the floor are clothes, papers, books, used underwear, and lots of other stuff besides. How on earth can he sleep on a bed with no bedding? Perhaps he’s just put it in the wash, but then how come the bed is covered with all the other stuff?

I'd normally start to strip off, but where would I put my clothes? Leaving the umbrella that I've brought with me by the door, I start to clear some stuff off the bed, but there’s nowhere to put it!

“Sorry about the mess”, says the guy suddenly, “I only moved in recently and I still need to work out where to keep everything”.

“No problem”, I say tactfully, “I’ve seen worse”. Which is true because I was very messy - when I was about ten years old!

Somehow we manage to clear his mattress, and while he's finishing off I decide that it's time for me to strip off. He's still trying to work out where to put a small pile of magazines when I clamber up onto the mattress, ready for action.

"Surely you can finish tidying up later?", I say facing him, kneeling on the mattress, wearing only my white undershorts. He looks me up and down.

"Hang on", he says smiling, "let me put on some music. I don't want the other guys in the flat to hear everything we do!"

Pressing the play button on the small hi-fi by the window, he joins me on the bed and lies down next to where I'm kneeling. As I move down to kiss him though, suddenly he jumps up, "hang on, the music's not playing, what's wrong with this thing?"

This time he waits for the music to start before joining me again. But then just as I manage to make contact with his lips he jumps up again, "Oh hang on, I don't think it's loud enough, do you?" Well I guess that depends on what we get up to!

After a bit of kissing and cuddling, I'm soon pulling down his shorts. Briefly I look at his naked body from head to toe and it's quite amazing, there really isn't an ounce of fat on him. Gradually the activities become a bit more energetic. "Shhh, be quiet", he laughs, "the walls here are quite thin." His cock fascinates me. It's a good length, but probably the narrowest one I've ever seen! It's as hard as steel though, and we have a lovely time together.

"Any chance of a glass of water before I go?" I ask afterwards.

He slips his shorts and t-shirt back on, and goes downstairs to get me a glass while I stay in his room and put my clothes back on.

"Thanks", I say as he hands me the water, "are all the guys in the flat gay?"

"No actually, I'm the only one. But it's not a problem, everyone's cool".

We chat a bit about his situation. He's only been in London a couple of months, and he's got some kind of short term work visa.

"I think I need to find myself a better job though", he says, "the one I've got isn't well paid".

"Actually, I've got to meet some friends soon", he continues, looking at his watch.

"No problem", I say, "I've got things to do myself too actually". As I suspected earlier, the guy seems to have an over-busy schedule. I guess I'm just lucky that he managed to find time to fit me in!

Opening the door downstairs it seems to be raining. "Hang on", I say, "didn't I have an umbrella with me?"

"Yes of course, hang on there, it's by my bedroom door isn't it".

It would have been much easier to spot in a tidy bedroom! But it only takes him a few seconds to rush back upstairs to fetch it for me. I certainly don't want to loose that umbrella because it belongs to boyfriend number 1.

"Take care", he says, patting me on the shoulder as I start to put up the umbrella.

"You too mate!"

It's been an enjoyable session. But I still don't understand how someone can call themselves gay and live in such a messy room!

Can anyone help me understand some American?

A few days ago I asked for help in understanding some Chinese. And now I need some help understanding some American! A Wall Street gossip blog suggested that I'm Muffie's gayer, sluttier male counterpart. The lazy f%*kers at this Wall Street web site have ignored the comment I left, so can anyone else explain Muffie to me? American and English - the languages are related but they're definitely not the same!

Gay Banker interviews LJKelley

The next interview candidate is LJKelley. His blog is an unusual mixture of Kylie worship, political rants, and poetry. But then perhaps an unusual mixture is to be expected, given that he describes himself by saying:

I'm a traveling computer geek. I enjoy activity, as well as quiet time at the beach or infront of this screen. I'm opionated and crazy (At least I'm admitting it unlike the rest of you)

In an effort to conduct a better interview I left a comment on his blog asking whether there was anywhere else I could look to help devise appropriate questions. In his brief reply he told me that he has a web site with a UK domain name, a myspace.com profile, as well as a gay.com profile. (And I also sent him another e-mail to check that he didn't mind me posting these sites.)

He's certainly got an interesting background. Since he lives in Florida one might assume that he's just another cute young American gay boy who likes to soak up the sun. But he speaks Norwegian, which certainly seems unusual to me for someone living in that part of the world.

So LJKelley, here are my interview questions:

1. According to your myspace profile you're in a relationship, but apart from saying things like 'he makes me happy" in your poem, you never mention anything about your boyfriend in your blog. So how did you meet him, and what's he like?


2. Imagine that you can play god and choose famous historical (or fictional) characters for the major roles in the US government (President, Secretary of State, Secretary of Defense, Secretary of the Treasury, etc). Who do you choose, and why?


3. In spite of your poem which talks about "No one else for ... me, One and Only!", your gay.com profile says that you're in an open relationship. My readers are always interested in the salacious details so can you describe some of your activities outside of your relationship to keep them satisfied?


4. You describe yourself as a travelling geek, although it's not clear to me whether your travel is for business or pleasure. So what kind of places to you go to, and do you ever meet any interesting gay guys on your travels?


5. And finally, you're 21 years old. What do you hope to achieve before you're 30?

The next interview candidate is a sixteen year old woman called saf. I've never interviewed a woman before and I'm not sure I'll be any good at it. Anyway, I'll try to get her questions out by early July at the latest.

Update: It only took Josef (aka LJKelley) a day and a half to come up with some good answers.

What's the difference between a boyfriend and a fuckbuddy

A few guys have commented to me that perhaps I should call boyfriend number 2 and boyfriend number 3 fuckbuddies rather than boyfriends. For example, a few weeks ago saddle-up made a clever comment about bf versus fb, and in an e-mail last month a reader said

I guess the only thing I don't "agree" about is your terminology... boyf2 and boyf3... surely they are f%*k buddies or at the most lovers?

I really don’t like the fb term though. To me it strongly relates to the casual attitude that many gays guys have, guys who can't commit themselves, or can't admit that they might actually love someone rather than just like them.

As I said in a comment to one of my postings recently, I'm in favour of polyamory. And a recent conversation with a potential boyfriend number 4 helped me clarify my thoughts on how I define bf versus fb. I reckon that a guy is a fb if

• You meet him for sex on a regular basis.

However if you also

• Enjoy his company, and do other things together apart from just having sex; and
• Provide each other with friendship and emotional support; and
• Would miss him, perhaps enormously, if he decided not to see you any more; and
• If you lost a bf, perhaps through some terrible accident, then one would naturally want to spend more time with this guy,

then in my book that justifies using calling the guy a bf rather than a fb. If there’s no emotional attachment, I would certainly accept that fb is the correct terminology. Of course, it may well be that I see boyfriend number 2 and boyfriend number 3 as bfs, but perhaps they only see me as fb.

So to me anyway, boyfriend number 2 is definitely a boyfriend! Although I haven't been able to see him since last July, we enjoyed a wonderful holiday together last year, and have certainly provided each other with emotional support over the last year in various situations. We chat to each other on MSN Messenger regularly, e-mail each other regularly, and sometimes speak to each other on the phone too. And I'd certainly miss him a lot if I lost contact with him.

And boyfriend number 3 is definitely a boyfriend too! Apart from the regular hook-ups for various gay activities, we also sometimes meet each other socially for drinks in the evening. And I'd certainly miss him too if I couldn't see him any more.

Am I the only guy who thinks like this?

Can anyone help me understand some Chinese?

There's a web site mostly in Chinese which clearly mentions this blog, but I can't read chinese. There are a very small number of English words embedded in the text such as "open-relationship" and then the word "cheating" and "cheaters" a few times. If anyone can translate for me I'd really like to know what it says.

A trip to see to boyfriend number 3

On the Monday after I met the Ukrainian guy, I’m on my way into work when I get a txt msg from boyfriend number 3:

bf#3: available tomorrow shower-freshed?

What a nice idea :-). Of course "Shower-fresh" was a term that I used in the txt msgs leading up to my last visit to see him. The only problem is that I’m off to the Chelsea Flower Show tomorrow with boyfriend number 1, so I'll have to try and postpone for a day or two:

GB: Hihi, wed or thurs would work much better for me? Hope you're well, I woz lookin' out for you online at weekend but didn't see you! GB xxx

The reply arrives within half an hour

bf#3: have been unable to get online recently...later in the week might be do-able will text if so x

GB: I'll be waiting for your txt :-)) xxx

So when I’m getting ready for work on Wednesday I have an especially good shower, making sure that I clean deep inside all those dark crevices which always seem to need a bit of extra attention. But in the end, I don’t get the txt msg :-(.

Late on Wednesday evening I get chatting to a guy on gay.com who wants me to visit him before work the following day. I’m to send him a txt msg early on Thursday morning to confirm, but when the next day comes and it’s time to send him the txt msg, I end up apologising for being unable to visit him. I’d rather meet up with boyfriend number 3 instead, and risk not getting any fun in the event he can’t make it today.

But it turns out that boyfriend number 3 can make it :-). Around 9am I get the txt msg that I’m waiting for:

bf#3: Today if you are about is good :-)

Great. Now I can enjoy the morning, looking forward to seeing boyfriend number 3 at lunchtime. I phone him up to confirm the time that I'll try and arrive.

I arrive pretty much on time. He answers the door bare-chested, with a towel wrapped round his waist.

"Sorry", he says, "I've just got out of the bath, I'm a bit behind schedule! Make yourself at home :-), there's some fruit juice for you in the fridge if you want some?"

I go into the main living area and on into the kitchen to find the fridge. I've barely finished pouring myself a glass when he shouts through a request

"While you're in the kitchen can you make me a mug of filter coffee?"

"Sure."

"Oh", continues boyfriend number 3, "and can you do some of the ironing too?"

Cheeky! Soon we're sitting with each other on the sofa, chatting about what we've both been doing since last we met.

"By the way", I ask, "what did you do of that action video you made of us both the last time I was here?"

"Oh, I think I dumped it into my computer, into my e-mail system."

"Errr, why into your e-mail system", I ask nervously.

"To make it easier to send out to everyone", he says calmly.

I'm about to get angry and upset when I realise that he's joking.

"Almost got you going there!" he says with a very satisfied smile on his face.

"Just you wait until I get you in the bedroom", I joke with him, "then I'll make you sorry!"

"Owwww, I can't wait :-)"

After the customary activities, we end up cuddling each other naked as usual. He falls completely asleep in my arms, while I doze in and out of consciousness.

"I bet you cuddle up with all your shags like this!" I joke with him quietly as we're waking up.

"No actually", he murmurs, "just with you :-)"

Eventually it's time to go back to the bank. "See you soon I hope", I say as I'm leaving to get into my taxi.

As usual after a visit to see boyfriend number 3, I feel really refreshed. It's going to be a good afternoon :-).

Poll result: When you're having sex with a guy, where do you prefer him to cum?

Thanks to everyone who voted in the poll. Since this blog gets 170+ visitors a day I had hoped to get more votes, but even with only 143 votes the results are very interesting. When looking at the results, please bear in mind that both genders have taken part (women were invited to interpret bottom to include front-bottom).

When you're having sex with a guy, where do you prefer him to cum
Over my body	36.4%	52
In my bottom (bareback)	18.2%	26
In my mouth for me to swallow	14.7%	21
Over his body	13.3%	19
In a condom inside my bottom	7.7%	11
On the floor	3.5%	5
In my mouth for me to taste but spit out	3.5%	5
Inside a condom for me to keep and eat later	2.1%	3
In a condom inside my mouth	0.7%	1
total votes: 143

So over 1/3 of us use man-juice as a spray-on lotion, and over 1/6 of us use it as a protein supplement (either draft or saved for later)!

It's the eat later option that I find curious. Although I know there are guys who like to do that, I don't understand the attraction so I'm surprised that there were 3/143 votes for this. Perhaps the votes were not serious? In any case, I'd be interested if anyone who voted for that could make a comment on the subject.

Following the comments made during the poll about the high percentage of people who prefer bareback, I had thought about doing a poll asking where people actually gets guys to cum if they're having anonymous sex. Maybe I'll do that in a week or so. Or does anyone else have any better ideas for another poll?

Gay cruising in London

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Saturday fun with a Ukrainian guy

It’s just before 9am on the Saturday before the Whitsun bank holiday weekend, and I'm logged into gay.com while eating my breakfast. I’ve got an appointment in town for a haircut at 11:15am, and I’m just wondering how to spend my time beforehand when a guy starts chatting to me:

guy: hi
GB: hi
guy: how are you
GB: fine

His profile suggests that he lives in the USA, but since I can see that he’s in the London Citywide chatroom, perhaps he’s visiting at the moment?

GB: u in london m8?
guy: yep, I'm in London
GB: for a long time, or just a short visit?
guy: Well, I was here for 2 weeks, but leaving on Monday

Hmmm, two weeks in the British metropolis, I wonder if he’s had much fun?

GB: So have you met any nice British guys since you've been here?
guy: well, only one, had a nice night together
GB: :-)
guy: but he was an australian diplomat
GB: so he wasn't British then LOL
guy: nope, he was not

He seems like a nice friendly guy. But given what London has to offer, in terms of his activities on this trip I’d only score him at D-! Still, he’s got a couple of days left, maybe he can redeem himself?

guy: nice pic of you
GB: ta

Good start! The guy’s actually got his face pics on his profile, so I tell him where to find mine.

guy: so what you up to?
GB: Oh, u know, just cruisin' around LOL, u?
guy: looking to get a guy to xxxxxxxx my yyyyyyyy, is that so bad?

Quite explicit! Suddenly I can’t understand why he hasn’t scored better!! We start chatting about who wants to do what to whom and the negotiations proceed quite quickly. Just as well, because when I find out his location in London, it’s probably a 25 minute taxi journey away. But as long as we don’t hang around I should have time to get over to his hotel and then get into town for my haircut.

GB: So I've just about got time to visit you because I’m busy later this morning, r u interested?
guy: i am very interested

Within five minutes it’s all been agreed. We’ve exchanged mobile phone numbers, even though his is a US mobile phone number of course. I think on my income I can afford to call internationally and speak to him if there are any problems!

Out on the street, I manage to find a cab without too much difficulty. The driver is a chatty soul, and tells me about the time he had the Brazilian footballer Pelé in his cab twenty years ago. Although it’s not a particularly interesting story I forgive him, the whole world seems to be going football crazy at the moment in the run up to the 2006 world cup!

As expected it takes almost 25 minutes to reach the hotel. Once I’m inside, there’s no problem walking past the reception to get to the rooms, but the lifts don’t seem to be working. So I climb the stairs to the fourth floor where his room should be. But the room numbers aren’t right. Eventually I decide to phone him.

“Hi this is GB”, I say, “did you say that you’re in room 473?”

“Errr, yes, that’s right”, he confirms.

“But I’m on the fourth floor and I can’t find any rooms above 449!”

“Really? Well perhaps you could ask someone, my room number is definitely 473”.

But there’s no one around to ask. There’s only one explanation of course, the hotel must have another wing with the higher room numbers! So back I go down the stairs on foot and sure enough, once I’m in the reception area I can see where I should have gone.

Soon I’m in the right part of the hotel and I can’t believe it, the lifts aren’t working in this wing either. Perhaps they’ve got the engineers in to give them all a service at the same time? Never mind, a few stairs aren’t going to get in the way of a bit of fun. Within a couple of minutes I’m knocking at his door.

“Sorry for the delay”, I say as he opens the door, “this hotel is a maze. The lower room numbers are in another wing!”

“No problem”, he says with a big grin on his face, “come in :-)”. The photos he’s got on his profile must be very recent because he looks exactly like his pics.

He’s bare-chested, just wearing some shorts, so I sit on the side of his bed and start stripping. Although it’s a very small room, at least it’s got a double bed.

“You look very English”, he says to me while I’m taking my shoes off.

“Good, because I am!” I say, “And even though you live in the US, you must be from Eastern Europe? Russia perhaps?”.

“Close! Actually I’m from Ukraine.”

“Wow, I’ve never been with a guy from there before.”

“Don’t worry, I think you’ll be familiar with the layout”, he says laughing, “all the important bits are in the middle!”

While I’m getting my trousers off, he walks round me and gets onto the bed from the other side. Once I’m down to my undershorts, I join him. Putting my arm underneath him to hold his shoulder on the far side of me, I lean over and start kissing him, while rubbing one of his nipples with my other hand.

“Hmmm”, he murmurs appreciatively, before rolling on top of me to pin me down. Gradually we get more involved with each other.

"You're a good kisser" he says, after a few minutes. You're not mate, it feels like you keep trying to bite my tongue off!

But we don’t rush, and when we’re both spent we lie there quietly for a few minutes, slightly exhausted.

"So how old are you really?” he asks. “Be honest”.

Shall I tell him the truth? I decide to split the difference between my internet age and my offline age. “And you?” I ask, “How old are you really?”

“My gay.com profile is accurate!”, he laughs. “Well, as accurate as yours is anyway!”

Sitting up on the bed we chat, we start chatting. He’s a fascinating guy. He tells me that he works as the personal translator for an Italian millionaire and his family.

“On Monday I’m off to look after his teenage son and a couple of his cousins who are staying at the family’s villa near Cannes.”

“You’ve got a very glamourous job”, I say, “how on earth did you manage to find it?”

We’re still both naked, and I can’t help looking at his now flaccid cock. Or is it? I start rubbing his hairy legs affectionately with the back of my hand. He doesn’t stop me.

“Well, I speak seven languages”, he says evasively, “and my boss has business interests in my home country.”

Hmmm, Italian millionaire? I start wondering, and he spots the discomfort on my face.

“Don’t worry”, he says, “they’re definitely not Mafia! And anyway, it’s not as glamourous as you think. My base is in their boring head office in the states”.

But I can’t help thinking there’s something he’s not telling me.

I’m still gently rubbing his leg and just to see what his reaction will be, I pick up his cock, as though measuring it’s weight. It’s not at all erect, but it’s also definitely not flaccid either!

“WELL”, he says suddenly, pinning me down again, “what am I going to do with you then?” And indeed, it turns into double-cum session!

“I’m really going to have to leave now”, I say afterwards, “I’ve got an appointment for a haircut in twenty minutes!”

"OK sure. See you online”, he says as I’m leaving. “But if you ever visit my city in the states let me know, I’ll give you my phone number. Then you can visit me in my home :-)”

Out on the street, I hail the first taxi I see, but when I get in it’s actually a cabbie I know.

“Hi, how are you?” I ask.

Even though there are 20,000++ taxis in London, these days I find that maybe once a month I’ll get into a cab and recognise the driver. Perhaps I take too many cabs!

“Hmmm, what are you doing on this side of town?” asks the cabbie.

“Oh, just visiting a friend”, I say dismissively. But he looks at me closely. Although I don’t say anything else, he doesn’t need to ask anything else. As Legal-ize-IT commented recently, I can work out things about guys, and so can experienced London cabbies.

On the journey we have a good chat as usual. This guy must be in his sixties, and over the years he’s done quite well out of the UK stock market. “I’ve had a lot of well known bankers in my cab over the years”, he always says, “and chatting to them has helped me work out what shares to buy. And thank goodness otherwise me and the missus wouldn’t have much of a retirement to look forward to!”

“Presumably you won’t work long today”, I ask as we get nearer to my destination, “given that it’s Saturday?”

“Hmmm”, he says, “actually now you’ve brought me over here, I think I’ll take a break and pop into the blue movie place round the corner”.

I almost blush, “Errr what do you mean?”

“Oh you know! The dirty video place near here”.

Well indeed, I do know exactly what he’s talking about. There’s an infamous porn cinema very near here, and although it shows exclusively straight porn, a lot of gay guys meet there to get off with each other. And I would be lying if I said I’d never visited!

But it’s also clear that he knows that I know what he’s talking about. And the fact that he’s being open about his behaviour clearly signals that he knows the kind of thing I’ve been up to this morning too. These days, I’ll often feel more comfortable chatting with guys like this, rather than with younger guys who can have very idealistic attitudes. After all, everyone’s up to something that they don’t want to be open about!

Gay Banker interviews bullchef

And so, the interview meme continues. Over the last few weeks I’ve been interviewed by PJ and by Reluctant Nomad, and on the other side of the coin I’ve been the interviwer for GB(D) and for Saddle-Up. Now it's bullchef's turn to be interviewed :-).

Bullchef is a great profile name for the guy. He’s a head chef, but quite a well-built one so the name fits him well. He says he wishes he could eat less, but I wholeheartedly agree with him when he goes on to admit that “I am a chef, and they do say never trust a thin one”!

He’s got a boyfriend called Colin who he’s been with around 5 years now, and although they have their ups and downs, the impression from his blog is of a fundamentally strong relationship.

So bullchef, here are my interview questions:

1. You’re in an Open relationship which works. What do you think the potential pitfalls are for couples in an open relationship, and how have you and Colin avoided them?


2. You post a lot of reviews of current films on you blog (e.g. The Lion, the Witch and the Wardrobe, The Da Vinci Code). But what are your three favourite classic films and why?


3. I was intrigued by your list of horny questions. So can you let my readers know your answers, given that it’s me asking you those questions?


4. You used to live in Spain, and on return from your holiday from the USA last year you were thinking of trying to get green cards so you could both go and work over there. So what things make you most want to live outside of the UK?


5. And finally, to end on a happy note, what was the happiest day of your life so far?

Update (8-Jun-2006): bullchef has posted some good answers :-)

The next interview candidate is LJKelley. I'll try to get his questions out over the next couple of weeks or so.

We all enjoy a good pole

At saddle-up's request, I've added a poll to this blog's side-bar. Please take part and vote. Both genders can participate, although it's been written from a gay man's point of view. So if you're a woman, please interpret bottom to include front-bottom, if you see what I mean.

Fruit juice vs water

For a few weeks now I've been asking guys for fruit-juice rather than water after we've had a bit of fun together. But the truth is that I do prefer water, it's somehow cleaner and more refreshing in that situation. So I think I'm going to revert back to my original behaviour. I hope that Legal-ize-IT, who made the original request for me to change my routine, will keep reading!

A slightly unusual request

I’ve mentioned before that bank holidays are good days to find a bit of fun. And so it was last month on the May-day bank holiday Monday :-).

I’m logged into both gay.com and gaydar, but it’s a guy from gay.com who contacts me first.

guy: hi
GB: hi
guy: how r u?
GB: fine, u?
guy: horny
GB: hehe, me too, where r u?

He’s about a 25 minute taxi ride away, a bit further than I’d like, but if it seems likely that we’ll get on well with each other I'd be prepared to visit him. So I send him the web link to where I keep the pics which show my face

GB: there u go, pics with my face in b4 u ask LOL. Do you have any pics?

In fact his gay.com profile doesn’t contain any pics at all, so given that my profile does at least have some pics of my body on it, I’m being a bit forward! But it pays off

guy: yeah of course, prob easiest if I send them to you on gaydar
GB: sure, I am currently logged in to gaydar so go ahead

Interesting that although we’re chatting on gay.com, we’re still relying on gaydar to some extent. When I get his pics I can feel myself starting to get excited. Wow, he’s quite the gorgeous Asian hunk! So I eagerly discuss the mechanics of who’s going to do what to whom. When we’ve got the basics sorted out though, he’s got a surprise for me

guy: do u cum lots?
GB: depends, if I find you really horny I will LOL :-)
guy: lol ok can you cum into a clean condom? haha sometimes if i get horny enough i like eating it the next day

Well, as I’ve said several times before, how ever many times you go round the block there’s always something new to look at. No one’s ever asked me that before! For some reason, he’s anxious in case he’s put me off because he continues chatting before I can reply

guy: if not i'm fine with you just cumming normally
GB: no probs, I could cum like that if u want :-)

With everything agreed, I tell boyfriend number 1 that I’m going to the gym, and head off to find a taxi to visit this guy.

After an uneventful journey, I’m soon inside a smart apartment block waiting for the guy to answer his door.

“Hi come on in”, he says smiling from behind the door.

“Thanks”, I say as I walk in, “where do you want me?”

Once he’s closed the door, I can see that he’s only wearing some boxer shorts and T-Shirt.

“This way”, he says. We head straight for the bedroom.

“Do you live here alone?” I ask.

“Errr yeah, why?”

No reason really, just trying to break the ice with some harmless conversation!

“Oh, it’s just good to know that we won’t be interrupted :-)”.

Once in the bedroom, I sit on the edge of bed and start stripping off. He disappears momentarily and comes back with some kitchen roll.

“Just in case”, he says laughing.

Once I’ve got my shoes, socks and shirt off, I stand up and take my trousers off so that I’m left standing there in just my undershorts. Still wearing his T-Shirt he walks towards me, puts his hand tentatively on my shoulder, and kisses me on the lips. Nice. Gently I lift his T-Shirt off and hold him close, nipple to nipple. His warm body next to mine feels lovely. Soon we’re on the bed enjoying each other’s company. After a while, things are progressing nicely when he reminds me of his request

“Can you cum in this one?”

I’m happy to oblige. And after a few more minutes we’re relaxing in each other’s arms, the main event is over.

“Do you want to put this somewhere then?” I say, after a suitable pause.

“Thanks, plenty there to keep me going”, he says gratefully. He carefully takes it out of my hand and lies it on his bedside table, next to his alarm clock.

“Any chance of a fruit-juice or something before I go?”

Moving into his reception area, we get chatting briefly while I’m drinking the apple juice that he gives me.

“So have you lived in London very long?” I ask.

“Oh, a couple of years or so. But I’ll be moving to France next year to study for an MBA.”

It turns out that I know the business school he’s talking about because some of my friends went there. And according to my friends, the school in question requires proficiency in three languages before students can graduate.

“Well if you already talk French”, I say, “I guess their language proficiency requirements won’t be a problem for you!”

After all, he already speaks English, and probably at least one Asian language.

“Actually I’ll probably take the opportunity to learn some Spanish”.

Noticing that he’s given me a drink without having taken anything himself, I decide that it’s time to make my excuses. Although I’m very curious, somehow the timing isn't right to ask him anything about his man-juice fetish. But I’ll definitely ask him a bit more about it if I ever meet him again.

Story from a reader: a team bonding session

I recently got sent this story from a reader, who's also gay, and who also works for a bank in London. He told me that he didn't mind if I posted his story, so here it is:

Late one evening, I emerge from Shadow Lounge with a girlfriend, and spot a minicab driver outside looking for business. We both jump in, and while en-route to our respective homes, we get chatting to the driver.

“I've seen a few things in my time”, says the driver eventually.

“Uh-huh”, we both say, wondering what’s on his mind.

“I thought I could tell the gay ones”, he starts. “Well, sometimes I can. I know you’re with your friend there”, he says to me, “but you don’t fool me, especially not coming out of that bar!”

“I bet you can’t always tell though”, I say, laughing.

“Well no”, he continues. “I was driving round Shepherd's Market in Mayfair and I see two City blokes, right, pinstripes and all, much like yourself. Being a mini-cab driver I’m not meant to take fares off the street of course, but these blokes are clearly looking for a cab so I stop anyway. One of them says goodbye to his mate, jumps in, and asks for Wimbledon. Knowing what Shepherd’s Market is like I asks him,

‘So, fun night out?’

‘Yeah’, he says with a smirk on his face, ‘I got a blowjob!’

‘Well I hope she was worth it’ I say, but he just laughs.

‘Nah’, he says ‘I got it from my work mate you just saw. We have this arrangement that been going on for the last 5 years, though we don’t tell our wives about it!’

Turns out they’ve both got kids and all!”

Update (16-Jun-2006): the reader who sent me this story now has his own blog.

A bit of fun after work on a Friday

It's late evening on the last Thursday in April and I'm logged into gay.com. I'm just about to log off and go to bed when a guy contacts me who's interested in my profile.

guy: hi
GB: hi m8
guy: would like to meet you...
GB: can't visit now, sry
guy: got any more pics?

We exchange face pics and chat a bit more. Everything seems to be in order, but I still can't visit him now, I want to go to bed with boyfriend number 1.

GB: so would be nice 2 meet u sometime, r u free 2moz at all, I might be able to visit you after work if u can accom?
guy: yup i can accomodate
GB: so what time shall I call u?
guy: 3pm
GB: fine. I'll be at work, but might be able to 2 visit u late pm
GB: I'll be in my suit of course! u like guyz in suits?
guy: i like that

We chat a bit more about but soon we're wishing each other good night and I'm promising to phone him tomorrow.

So the next day I phone him shortly after 3pm as agreed.

"Hi this is GB", I start.

"Hi, I was hoping you'd call", he says eagerly.

"Would it be convenient to visit you around 6pm?"

"Yes sure, just come to the tube station near my flat and phone me for directions from there."

I always prefer an actual address, rather than an invitation to phone for more details, but since he seems eager and since I've got his mobile phone number I decide not to push to get his address right now.

Although I often take taxis, later when I leave the bank it's the height of the rush hour so I decide to take a tube instead. It should be quicker. Once above ground at his end, I phone him again.

"OK", he says, "come out of the tube station, cross the road and turn left, ...., and when you get there don't ring the doorbell but give me another phone call and I'll come and find you."

Five minutes later I'm phoning him up again, "I've arrived!"

"OK, hang on a minute".

After waiting for more than a minute, suddenly there's a guy beckoning me from the other side of the road. I recognise him immediately from the face pic I saw last night. Why couldn't he give me the right address, rather than the address of his neighbour opposite?

The last time a guy gave me the address of the house opposite was about two years ago. The guy had never had sex with another guy before, and I was to be his first experience. But once I'd arrived he had a panic attack, and told me over the phone that his parents had returned so that I had to leave immediately before I was spotted in the road. I was quite annoyed so I demanded my taxi fares back from him! Several txt msgs and phone calls later, some of which were answered and some of which weren't, his panic subsided so he decided to meet me after all. It was only then that he told me that I'd been shouting through the wrong letter-box because he lived in the house opposite!

Back to today and I head over to meet the guy. For some reason he looks a bit sheepish. "Come in", he says, "but please don't make too much noise".

He definitely looks a few years older than the photographs that he showed me, but he's not a bad looking guy so I don't say anything.

"Err, I've got something to tell you", he says, once were inside his flat.

"I've never done anything gay before, you're the first bloke I've met like this".

Why aren't I surprised!

"Don't worry", I say, "I have met other guys before like this, I'll take care of you." I decide not to give him any idea of how many times I done this before!

"So you don't mind?"

"No, of course not. Where shall we go?" Indeed, whenever I'm in this situation, I always feel it's my duty to make sure the first experience is an enjoyable one.

We head into his living room and sit down next to each other. After all the eagerness he showed on the phone, he's now very nervous. I touch him gently on his knee and smile at him. He smiles back, still nervous. I decide to start stripping off.

"Errr, would you like a cup of tea or something?" he offers.

"Got any fruit juice?" I ask.

By the time he returns I'm sitting there in my white undershorts, ready for action. He gives me a glass or orange juice and but then he goes and sits on the sofa opposite. That's no good!

"So how many guys have you met", he asks, trying to sound casual.

"I'm not sure to be honest, but why don't you come and sit next to me."

He looks a bit uncertain. "Perhaps you could play with yourself a bit first", he says, "do you mind if I just watch you?"

Not at all! Slowly I start giving him a bit of a show. Soon I’m taking my undershorts off. When I look up at him, he's watching me very intently, completely fascinated.

After a couple of minutes I ask again. "Fancy joining me on the sofa over here?"

He nods, looking a bit more relaxed now, and comes and sits next to me. Focusing on him, I unbutton his shirt, and then I loosen his trousers. "Why don't you take them all off?" I suggest. He duly obeys.

Now that he's naked too, he really gets into it. But with all the excitement of having my body to play with too, it's over relatively quickly.

"Errr, let me get something to clean up with", he says, sounding slightly uncomfortable.

He's only out of the room momentarily.

"Thanks for coming over". In fact, now that he's shot his load he looks very uncomfortable again, and quite eager to get rid of me.

"Not at all. I hope you enjoyed it", I say smiling.

Of course, afterwards I usually like to chat a bit to the guys I meet, but on this occasion I decide the kindest thing to do is to leave him alone. Hopefully though, with his first experience out of the way, the next time he should be a lot more relaxed.