Friday, February 11, 2005

Divorce next door

Last night boyfriend number 1 took a phone call from our neighbour next door. We've known her and her husband since we moved in several years back, and we've even been down to their house in the Berkshire with them as though we were uncles to their children. She phoned to say she's divorcing her husband. For a couple of years she's been very stoic about how hard her husband works, because he was often getting home very late. The truth is out now, the reason he was being late must have been that he was spending his evenings with another woman and she can't tolerate that.

I often wonder whether boyfriend number 1 knows that I'm no good at monogamy. But I absolutely adore him. We still have sex, although nowhere near as frequently as we did when we first met, and I couldn't live without him. But I'm also addicted to meeting other guys for casual sex, which I sometimes think of as just a kind of hobby. The casual sex hobby doesn't provide the companionship I need as well.

In spite of my addiction I would never have an affair like the guy next door did. The core fabric of our relationship is the companionship aspect, and I don't think casual sex damages that at all. Although perhaps I'm starting to get close to the danger point with overseas surrogate boyfriends like P in Singapore.

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