Singapore trip Feb 2005. Wednesday, first night

I hadn't seen P since my last business trip to Singapore in 2002. Since then I had only e-mailed him once, to check he was OK when the SARS epidemic had hit Asia in 2003. Originally P had been a little flirtation from my visit in 2001 and we had spent several lovely nights together. But having seen him again in 2002, I hoped I could rely on him to be my surrogate boyfriend for my Singapore trips. We got on well together and I enjoyed his company. This trip had been arranged at short notice and when the time arrived for me to leave for Heathrow, P had still not replied to my e-mail.

So I arrive in Singapore early in the evening, and when I get to the hotel and log on I see that I have one e-mail in my hotmail account. I’m a bit excited. I click to see who it’s from and indeed, it’s from him.

"hi, of course i remember you. How can a guy like me forget someone so sweet like you.I just got back from the philippines a while ago. I'll be in Singapore for a couple of days, leaving for Thailand on Friday and returning only on Monday. I'd love to see you though, even just for a day. Give me a call. Hugs, P"

I feel very happy. But it is already Wednesday evening, and I am going to be leaving Singapore on Thursday afternoon for the conference in Indonesia, so unless he could meet me that evening or for lunch on Thursday it was going to be difficult. While pondering the possibilities, I phone boyfriend number 1 in London to tell him I’ve arrived safely.

During the course of the early evening I phone P several times but there are no replies. I also send him an e-mail with my hotel and room number details. I have a suspicion that he is avoiding me, and that he doesn't like my secret little idea of having a lovely Singaporean boyf on tap for my visits.

Incidentally, I think I have the same attitude to business trips as many of my hetero colleagues - business trips are an opportunity for having fun. Being gay has distinct advantages in this respect. The heteros can visit their lap dancing clubs, or pay for their call girls, but it’s all a bit superficial and driven by money. The gay male visitor on the other hand can easily tap into the local gay scene where everyone is on equal terms.

By 9:30pm I have not heard from P so I log on to gay.com to search for alternatives. I have not used the gay chat rooms in Singapore for several years and I am completely amazed by the response I get when I log on. Within 5 minutes there are over 10 guys wanting to talk to me. I am just in the process of arranging a visit from one of the more promising prospects when P calls me at my hotel. Luckily I have not finalised the arrangements so maybe I can still meet P after all.

As I had suspected, P was still without a boyfriend, but seemed well. "Yes, I'm still with the same boyf" I told him, "It’s been over 15 years with him now". He is evasive when I suggest that we meet that evening, so we agree to meet for lunch tomorrow before I leave for the conference.

We hang up, so I go back to gay.com. I want to find someone to welcome me to Singapore. After a bit of negotiating, it was settled, a nice young Asian guy wants to visit me in my hotel room. A possible hiccup - did I mind that he's a bit stocky he asks? Poor guy must have had a bad experience with a body fascist in the past, I think he looks great. I let him e-mail me a few more photos and I still think he looks great. I’m now really looking forward to meeting him.

I meet him in the hotel lobby and we go up to my room. He seems slightly nervous. He is an accountancy student, and he's been studying in New York. Gradually we get down to business, and he is gorgeous. Like me he enjoys cuddling - I'm not a fan of guys who are in too much of a hurry to cuddle. He smells lovely too, and half way through he tells me it’s thanks to Body Shop.

"Why don't you stay the night?" I ask him later. I do miss not having company in bed at night for cuddling. "I'd like to" he says, "but I really can't. I've got some important things to do tomorrow and if I stay here we won't get a wink of sleep". Probably just as well I think, I’ve got a job to do here too and I want to put on a good show for the sake of my staff back in London. So he leaves just before midnight to avoid the after-midnight taxi surcharge.

In spite of a good session, I can tell jet lag is going to be a problem. I sleep badly, going through all the scenarios I'm likely to encounter when I meet P for lunch. Whatever happens, I'm looking forward to seeing him.