Sunday, June 10, 2007

Email from a young gay guy living in India

Last Monday, I received the following email from a guy who only came out about a year ago. His comments towards the end about being attracted to his straight friends reminded me that I often found myself in the same situation.

Hi GB,

How r u?

I am a 22yo from India.

I am following ur blog for quite some weeks now. i really like it.........n love reading watever u write.

I am into this gay thing since a year now. Now i think i have got the white belt at least.

I hav had some nice time with 3 guys till now. I realy loved the first one but he left me for unknown reasons. Second one was an idiot. third one i dont like physically but i love him as a person. Still in search for someone.......i keep tryn....and i miss d 1st one a lot.

Abt comin out.....

its difficult in india to come out. i dont care for n e one......but my parents.......they cannot understand, i know coming out is not an option......rite now i m jus searchin for some nice guy......i keep meetin n datin.....thru net.

You know what realy troubles me-------

I have a lot of gud friends and i like some of them a lot. Some of them are very close friends and its so difficult to suppress ur feelings and keep to oneself. It realy kills me when i m wid them...attracted....i jus wana kiss them........love them......such nice feelings .....but cant express. But slowly n stedily i hav learned to live with this........it goes away in time .......

Ur blog makes me feel gud about myself.....seriously. i never wanted to be gay.....but i know i am. And i am sure.

With lots of love n special thanks

1 comment:

jeremy said...

yes, those feelings go away as you get more "experienced". its good in a way because you're able to control what you feel and not be an idiot around them.
but sometimes i get to a stage where i wonder if i'll ever feel those strong impulsive feelings for anyone. if all my feelings have been dampen to a point where i'll not be able to love my partner as much. (because my instinct tells me to be careful with whom i express feelings for. because the past tells me that most of those you have feelings for would not return the same feelings back to you.)
i think we gays are very good at controlling and suppressing what we want to feel.