Sunday, April 30, 2006

A bit of fun before a run

It’s late afternoon on the Saturday around three weeks ago, and I’m logged into while working on something else. I’d almost forgotten that I was logged in when a private message box pops up. There’s someone who wants to talk to me :-)

guy: hello
GB: hi m8
guy: nice pics on your profile
GB: thanks

While the preliminary introductions are happening I take a bit of time to look at his profile. He’s a nice looking Asian guy, about 30 years old, with a cute smile. Gorgeous!

guy: got any pics with your face in?
GB: sure, I’ll send them. So where in London are you?

It turns out that he’s about a 20 minute taxi ride away, a bit further than I would prefer to go, but not too far. The only problem is that I’ll be going out with boyfriend number 1 soon, so there isn’t time to visit him today.

GB: would love to visit you sometime, but can’t do now, is tomorrow morning any good?
guy: what time?
GB: I could try and arrive between 9.30am and 10am, would that work?
guy: fine
GB: great, I’ll phone you around 9am before I set off
guy: OK
guy: what will you be wearing?

Interesting question, but why does it matter? Perhaps he’s got some interesting fetish or fantasy?

GB: what would you like me to wear?
guy: could you wear a suit

Sounds like he does have some fantasy about smart English guys perhaps, but I'm not sure I'll be able to help because it would look very strange to boyfriend number 1. I’ll be telling boyfriend number 1 that I’m off to the gym of course, and leaving for the gym in a suit wouldn’t look at all right!

GB: I think that would be difficult
guy: OK no problem, wear whatever u want.
GB: ok thx, look forward to meeting u 2moz

So it’s all agreed.

The next day, and after some relaxing dozy cuddles with boyfriend number 1, I get up around 8.30am leaving boyfriend number 1 in bed. I need to phone the guy to check that it's still OK to visit, so I go to the opposite end of the house where boyfriend number 1 shouldn't be able to hear me.

"Hi, this is GB", I start quietly, "is it still OK to visit you this morning."

"Errr, sure", and he pauses. "Sorry, I'm just waking up! What time will you be here?"

"Is 9.30am to 10am still OK?"

"Fine. Don't ring the doorbell when you arrive though, give me a call and I'll let you in."

It sounds like he normally spends a bit longer in bed on Sunday mornings. However I often go running with some of the other guys from the gym on Sunday mornings, so for me the big question is whether I'll be able to have some fun and make it to the gym in time for the run.

Leaving home around 9am, I manage to find a cab quite quickly. The roads are empty and I actually arrive a few minutes before 9.30am. But when I phone him to let me in there's no reply. Ahhh well, I guess it's my fault for being early.

It feels slightly uncomfortable waiting around in the open, in this quiet leafy suburban London street. I start to wonder whether any of the neighbours will spot me hanging around, and what they might think if they do see me. But before my mind conjures up too many scenarios my phone rings.

"Hi are you outside?"

He must have spotted the missed call on his mobile phone.


"OK hang on and I'll let you in."

Soon the door is opening.

"Come in, be quiet though, I think my housemates are still asleep."

Face to face he looks even better than in his photos. We head upstairs.

"I share this house with five other people", he explains quietly, "so we should try not to make too much noise."

He shows me into his bedroom, which is one of the rooms at the back of the house. Most of the room is taken up by two single beds of different heights, with not much room for much else! But it's cozy enough.

"Are all your housemates gay?" I ask out of curiosity. A lot of gay guys in London don't like having guys round for sex when their housemates are in.

"It used to be 100% gay, but now a straight couple has got one of the rooms", he explains. "Can I get you something to drink?"

"Errr sure, can I have water, no actually do you have any fruit juice?"

"Let me see what's in the fridge."

While he's gone I strip off, and by the time he gets back I'm sitting on one of the beds, naked apart from my undershorts. I stand up as he walks towards me.

"Hmmm, nice body", he says, "I bet you go to the gym a lot".

"Yes I do enjoy the gym", I confess, as I take a glass of what looks like orange juice from him.

Once the glass is in my hand, he runs his hand down my body and caresses me gently through my undershorts. "That feels nice", he says, as I murmur appreciatively. I take a quick sip of fruit juice, put it down on the shelf, and sit down on the bed.

"Why don't you come and sit on the bed with me", I suggest helpfully.

Once he's sitting on the bed, I put my arm round him. He smiles as he turns to face me. Gently I lift his T-shirt over his head. "You've got a nice body too!"

"Thanks", he replies.

Slowly we get started. We don't rush, and have a very enjoyable time. Afterwards we just lie there, cuddling each other.

"So where are you from originally?" I ask him casually.

"Well my family is from Hong Kong".

"Really?" I say, "I've been there a few times. So you like 'gwei lo' then!"

When I was in Hong Kong in 2002, L had taught me that 'Gwei lo' is Cantonese 'ghost face', which is the term that all the locals there use for caucasians.

He laughs. "Yes I do like 'gwei lo', can't you tell!"

We cuddle each other for maybe half an hour. Lying in his arms is lovely. But suddenly I remember that I'm meant to be down the gym.

"What time is it? I'm meant to be meeting some guys to go running along the river!"

He calls me a cab, which seems to take ages to arrive. Luckily though, I get to the gym just as they're about to set off, and they're happy to wait for me to change. Feeling a bit frisky after the session, I manage to do one of my better times over the distance!

Thursday, April 27, 2006

A short letter to The Economist magazine

I've enjoyed reading The Economist magazine for many years, and in last Friday's edition there was a Survey of New Media covering topics such as blogging, wikis, online journalism, and so on. So in a change to the usual kind of stuff that I write here, I'm posting the short letter that I've sent to them today. Although it seems somehow inappropriate to send them a serious letter from my Gay Banker identity, it's the only blogging identity I've got so I guess they're stuck with it. It'll be interesting to see whether it gets published.

Sir, as a blogger myself, I found your Survey of New Media fascinating. However, your interpretation of the statistics on the growth of the blogosphere is misleading. The number of blogs that technocati tracks is bound to grow because they continue to track dead and inactive blogs. A better statistic to follow is the Daily Posting Volume. On that basis the technorati statistics suggests no growth over the last 6-9 months. The valid point is that 1,200,000 posts a day is already a force to be reckoned with.

Having been a subscriber to The Economist for many years, I hope that it will be able to make the transition successfully from Old Media to New Media. At present though, only a fraction of The Economist’s articles are freely available online, and this must surely be hampering the transition. Ironically, only existing subscribers have online access to the New Media Survey article which discusses whether newspapers should make all online content free or not. The Rough Guides are prospering even though the content of their travel guides are free online. If The Economist were to do the same, I’m sure I’m not the only one who would continue to pay for a hard copy.

Gay Banker xxx

Tuesday, April 25, 2006

Another conversation with a taxi driver

When I take taxis in London I’ll often get talking to the taxi driver, and just occasionally the conversations can be quite interesting. One such conversation occurred a couple of months ago, on my way back into work after a session with boyfriend number 3. And recently, when I took a taxi from home to work so as to get into the bank a bit earlier than usual, I had another fascinating conversation.

As I get into the cab I can tell that the driver is a bit of a character. Almost immediately he’s got a lot to say for himself.

“So where are you going eh? To work? I don’t usually do these kinds of jobs. Taking people to their office is a day driver's job!”

“It is daytime now”, I say slightly confused, “just about anyway”. Well, the sun has risen, although it is still quite early.

“Yeah”, he continues, “but I’m really a night driver. Taxi driving is a completely different job during the daytime. So you’ll have to tell me which way to go.”

I give him some directions and he seems to know which roads I’m talking about.

“I’m normally jumping into bed around now!” he continues. “But I’ve got to take the cab into the garage for a service today, so I may as well do a bit more work. Completely different job daytimes. Last time I did a day job someone asked me for the Gherkin and I had no bloody idea where he wanted to go! Completely different job daytimes you see.”

Yes, I do see, you’ve said it several times now, I think I get the picture. But suddenly I’ve got an idea. “Must be an interesting job at nights though”, I reply, “I bet you’ve seen a few things!”

“Yes I’ve seen it all”, he says, “I’ve seen drunks, businessmen wanting women, transvestites, you name it, I’ll have seen it! Now, if a day driver works nights for a change, and a bloke gets into his cab wanting to find a bit of company, the day driver probably wouldn’t have a clue! Nights are different for the day driver you see”.

Yes, I had guessed.

“Sounds like you know where to find all the seedy London night life”, I say, wondering how far the conversation can go.

“Yes, I know a few places, where to find all the whores, all the brothels, and where the classy joints are too!”

"OK”, I say, preparing my next conversational gambit, “but would you know where to take a guy who gets into your cab wanting to find a bit of fun with other guy?"

He pauses briefly, and looks at me in his driving mirror. I’m just sitting there quietly on the back seat, dressed in a smart suit and tie, wearing a “butter wouldn’t melt in my mouth” sort of expression. It’s the cab driver who’s set himself up as the sleaze expert, and if he wants his expertise to be tested it’s a fair question!

“Yes, of course, I know a few places”, he says. “There’s a place in Green Street, Mayfair. And there’s always Torturezone if they’re into the sado masochist stuff.”

I’ve never heard of either of those places. But if there’s going to be an expensive, up-market rent-boy place in London it’s going to be in Mayfair, so his answer seems plausible.

“The cheapest is the 24 hour sauna in Waterloo of course”, he continues, “That’s where I take quite a few of them.”

“You mean Pleasuredome”, I say, starting to admit that I know a bit more than I’m letting on, “yeah I know it”.

He glances at me in his mirror again and smiles. I get the impression that he’s starting to enjoy himself, especially now that I’ve admitted that I’m not as innocent as I look.

“I’ve even had a pair of them doing it in the back there where you are”, he says, trying to shock me.

“Really”, I say unfazed, he’ll have to do better than that!

“In the end I think they were both completely starkers. Well, I altered the angle of my mirror to give them a bit of privacy. I could still hear them of course!” He pauses, and then starts laughing, “Mind you, I think they found the fact that I could hear them a bit of a turn-on!”

For a few seconds he has to concentrate on the road, but once we’re past the junction he’s got more to say.

“If I take them somewhere which might be a bit dodgy though, I’ll wait for them. That Torturezone for example. I always like to look after my customers, see. You should see them afterwards, some of them look terrible, that place certainly lives up to its name. But I don’t doubt that they'll be back for more!”

“Do you ever take them there on the left?” I ask. We’re passing one of the branches of Chariots, which is the biggest chain of gay saunas in London.

“Errr, yes, once I think”, although he doesn’t seem sure.

“I don’t think it’s 24 hour”, I say, “at least it never used to be. I think it’s open something like noon to 9am.”

He looks back, as though making a mental note. “I see”, he says laughing, “I guess that gives them three hours each day to clean up!”

"But it’s nice to take a nice relaxing steam after a long night of taxi driving”, he continues, “to have a shower so I can return home to her indoors all fresh. But I can’t do it too often”, he laughs, “or she'll wonder what's going on".

Suddenly I’m confused. What is he saying? He’s looking at me in the mirror now, to see if I can work it out. Now it’s my turn to start laughing. And I admit it, he has definitely surprised me!

“Don’t the activities in the steam room bother you?”, I ask.

“No not really”, he continues, “I’ve seen it all before. Anyway, you can’t see anything in the steam room, too much steam! If you want to see what’s going on you have to go into the sauna. Sometimes they’ll be doing it all around you but it doesn’t bother me, so what, they’re only human.”

So an apparently straight taxi-driver who works nights will sometimes go to unwind in a gay sauna before he goes home! And why not? For a relatively small amount of money there are showers, a café, TV, somewhere to lie down. There’s simply no straight equivalent, apart from checking into a hotel. And if it's Pleasuredome that the driver uses, he's definitely not the only "straight" guy who frequents the place.

“Have I met you before?” the driver asks as I get out of the cab.

“No I don’t think so.”

“Really?” He looks puzzled. I give him a mischievous smile.

“Well take care”, he says, “see you again perhaps!”

He’s probably right to be puzzled. After all, how on earth did a smart respectable looking banker get him to admit something that not even his wife knows, i.e. that he enjoys visiting gay saunas? I guess it’s just a knack I’ve got!

Friday, April 21, 2006

A bit of fun with a young Malaysian guy

On the Saturday almost three weeks ago, a few hours after I wasted my time talking to an oriental guy, I’m logged into when a guy starts talking to me:

guy: hi there....
GB: hi
guy: how u doing?
GB: fine, u?
guy: good thx, where r u?

We exchange our general locations. It turns out that he’s from Malaysia, and if his profile is to be believed, he’s only 21 years old. As I chat to him, he seems quite focussed, going through all the standard questions that normally precede a meeting. Given the problems that I had with the oriental guy earlier, it’s all very refreshing.

guy: what u looking for?

The usual! You do things to me, I do things to you, we both seem to know the score :-)

guy: do u have any face pic?

Since I don’t show my face on my profile, I send him a couple of pics which do show my face. While I’m waiting for a response, I look again at the pics displayed on his profile. Yes, he’s definitely a gorgeous looking Asian guy :-)

guy: do u accom?

I can't let him visit me of course. Under the provisional terms of the arrangement under discussion with boyfriend number 1, I must never use the home we share together to meet other guys.

GB: sry m8, can't accom
guy: ah ok np
guy: travel?
GB: yes, sure, can u accom?
guy: well my flatmate still here, he will leave around 2
GB: ahhh, so you can only accom when ur flatmate is out?
guy: yeah kind of, i have to respect him
GB: well perhaps I could arrange to visit around 2.30?
guy: ok cool
GB: do you have a mobile phone?

We exchange mobile phone numbers, but he won't commit to a time when I can visit, presumably in case his flatmate alters his plans. Eventually we decide that he'll send me a txt msg around 2pm after his flatmate has left, then I can head off to visit him while he gets ready for me. The only problem with this plan of course is that meetings that rely on future messages being sent tend not to happen.

GB: anyway I'm gonna go to gym now :-)
GB: would be polite if you could text me around 2pm to update me, and even if its not poss to meet today
GB: so hope to see you later :-))

I don't get a response to any of this but I'm not worried. In theory everything has been agreed so I just need to be cool. I log-off and head to the gym.

I get back from the gym just after 2pm. Still no txt msg, but suddenly I have a thought. Perhaps the guy is still logged into, in which case I can contact him again online. I log on, but as soon as I enter the chatroom, I get the txt msg I’ve been waiting for

guy: Hey u can come here if u want

Scanning down the list of people in the chat room I can see that the guy is indeed there. So simply entering the chat room was probably enough to prompt him to send me the txt msg. That's a good sign, he's still keen, so it should be a good session! I send him a txt msg reply

GB: Great, i will be there b4 3pm, xxx

Even though he's further away than I would usually travel for a meet, for a good-looking guy like this I’m prepared to make a little extra effort!

Soon I'm in a cab. The roads seem quite clear so it takes much less time to get there than I had anticipated. As the cab driver enters the road where the guy lives, it's barely 2.30pm.

The address is in a tall block of council flats. I buzz the guy's flat number and wait. But no response. Well I am quite a bit earlier than I said I would be, perhaps he's in the shower, or perhaps he's even gone out briefly. I try again. Again no response so I decide to call him on his mobile. Luckily he answers


"Hi, it's GB", I start, but he interrupts.

"Was that you buzzing?"

"Yes sorry, I got here quicker than I expected."

"Errr, OK, no problem, buzz again and I'll let you in."

His flat is on one of the lower level floors so it doesn't take long to find it. I knock at the door, and after a short wait, he answers.

“Hello, Come in”, he says, with an indifferent kind of smile on his face.

“Thanks”. Face to face he’s quite a bit shorter than me, which I guess is usually the case with Asian guys. But he’s definitely a lovely looking guy, and he could well be only 21.

I follow him into his bedroom. There are clothes scattered everywhere, books, papers, and by the window there's a messy mattress which is clearly where he sleeps. Can he really be gay? Most gay guys are much neater than this! Peering over at his laptop, perched on the far side of the mattress, I can see that he’s still tuned into

“Can I get you anything?”

“A glass of water would be great”. [ In future of course I’ll try and ask for fruit juice, but this session predates that request.]

While he fetches me some water, I start stripping off. I’ve got my shoes, socks and shirt off by the time he returns.

“Thanks that’s great.”

As I gulp down a few sips of the water, he looks me up and down. Then, slowly, he walks over and presses his firm body up against mine. As he rubs his groin into my leg I can feel that he’s very hard. I’m going to enjoy this.

“Come on”, he says smiling a bit more, “lets go over to the bed”. Of course, ‘bed’ means ‘messy mattress’, but I don’t complain. On my way over to the ‘bed’ I lose my trousers so that I’m now just wearing my undershorts. We don’t bother to draw the curtains.

As we go to lie down I pull his top over his head so that he’s bare-chested too. Then I lean down to suck his right nipple. Soon we’re both naked but then, suddenly, everything seems to happen very quickly. A couple of minutes later and it’s all over!

Almost without thinking, he moves over to check his laptop for messages, and starts typing. I'm still naked on the mattress of course. Hmmmm, this wasn’t exactly the satisfying experience I was looking forward to.

“Any chance of another glass of water”, I say as I get up off the bed, competing with his laptop for some attention.

“Yes of course”, he says, looking up momentarily, “where did we put your glass?”

Walking over to the bedroom door I see it on the floor. “Ah, here it is, don’t worry, I can get some myself”.

He’s still kneeling naked on the bed with his laptop when I return.

“Have you been in London very long?” I ask casually.

“Hmmm, what”, he says, not paying much attention. “Errr, a couple of years now”.

I chat to him a short while as I gradually put my clothes back on. It turns out that he works for some kind of television company. However, since it’s clear that he’s much more interested in his laptop, I decide it’s best to go.

Although orgasms are always fun, perhaps in future I should avoid guys who are so young. I think it makes for a more enjoyable session when guys know how to do a bit more than just ejaculate!

Water vs fruit juice

For the record, I have taken note of a suggestion which Legal-ize-IT made recently. Having noticed that I always ask the guys I visit for a drink of water, in a comment to a recent posting he suggested that in future I ask for fruit juice instead. Just for fun, I'll give it a go :-)

Monday, April 17, 2006

A very long online conversation

Every now and then when I've been on gaydar or, the guy I've been talking to has suggested chatting on MSN instead. So gradually I've built up a collection of contacts on MSN but there's one problem - for the most part I can't remember who they all are because there's no way of connecting them back to their gaydar or profiles.

On Saturday, just over two weeks ago, I'm signed into MSN when one of these contacts starts chatting to me.

guy: hello
GB: hello
guy: would love a session with u

OK that’s nice :-), but who are you?

GB: gr8. do u have a gaydar profile?
guy: no, do you

Hmmm, strange, how come I have him in my contact list? We must have met online elsewhere. I decide to tell him my gaydar profile name, and continue chatting to get a few more clues. After a bit more conversation everything becomes clear

GB: do u have a profile?
guy: we met through fridae
GB: ahhh ok, whats ur fridae profile name then?

I don’t use fridae much, although I have mentioned it here before. As soon as he answers I know exactly who he is. He’s the Asian guy that I e-mailed last year to say that I’d rather meet up face to face than receive the fridae “hearts” that he regularly seems to send me.

GB: so where r u in London and can u accom, unfort I cant?
guy: yes sometimes, when friend is not around
GB: where r u based?

He tells me where he lives, which is a bit of a trek for me, but to not too far

GB: ok sure, that works, can u accom today?

But he avoids the question

guy: do u have any pics to exchange?
GB: sure, lets swap pics

We use the file transfer system on MSN to send our pictures to each other.

guy: wow, u r very sexy and goodlooking
GB: thanks
guy: u make me very horny now. I want to take your trousers off

I bet he says that to all the boys!

guy: r u married
GB: not married, do have bf though
guy: living together
GB: yes actually

and so the conversation continues. But he seems to ask a lot of questions

guy: is your bf white guy?
guy: u like oriental?
guy: u like younger guy?
guy: do u like older oriental guy?
guy: do u work every day
guy: do u like to meet up after work for some hot fun before home
guy: where is your office
guy: do u finish after 5pm
guy: u wear suit and tie to work
guy: do u cum very easily

Occasionally he seems keen to meet

guy: I want to have fun with u
GB: can u accom now?

But he never answers the question! It’s getting frustrating.

guy: I am just so hard and horny now
GB: me too m8, so would be good to meet
guy: what is m8
GB: m8 = mate
guy: I C, I'm new to this and kind of nervous and hope you don't mind
guy: but want to have sex with you very often though
GB: lets see how we get on when we first meet, might well be poss regularly if we like each other
guy: would you teach me too and we can explore a lot more sexual technique together

Hmmm, suddenly I know there’s one question I have to ask him

GB: ok. Have you been with any guyz before? Be honest, doesn't matter

There’s a small pause in the otherwise fluid conversation, then he answers

guy: no
guy: u will be my first one
GB: I'd love to be, I'd treat u carefully
guy: u don't mind me inexperienced
GB: no, I was wondering why you were asking so many questions
guy: and being a virgin too
GB: don't worry. So you've been with girls before, or not girls either? doesn't matter
guy: don't like girl and never with girl either
GB: so when would u like me to visit u?

I don’t mind being with inexperienced guys at all, but given the way the conversation has gone, I can’t help thinking that he’ll just keep talking without ever committing. Already we’ve been chatting for 40 minutes!

guy: do u like to sleep over sometimes
GB: usually sleep with bf, but love sleeping with other guys too
guy: love to smell your cock and balls and play with it in your sleep
GB: I even went on holiday with a second boyfriend last year
guy: you've two boyfriends?
GB: well I’ve got a main bf, but a few others too
guy: u must be a great lover !

Well, whatever the truth about that is, I’m not going to deny such a nice compliment! But we’re not getting anywhere :-(

GB: any chance of a meet today?
guy: need to see when my friend is going out, he doesn't know I like white guy

And we end up chatting a bit more. So I try to help the arrangements along by getting his postcode

GB: whats your exact postcode, so I can work out roughly where you are using

But he only gives me half the postcode, and it’s inconsistent with the information he gave me earlier when I asked him where he's based!

GB: Hmmm, that postcode isn’t right, or you don’t live in the area you mentioned earlier! Can't you be honest with me?

He gives me the right postcode for the area, but still only half the postcode

GB: and the rest of the postcode?
guy: we can meet in a hotel to start
GB: I guess we could if that’s what you want. I usually meet guys in their homes though
guy: you and I are so horny
GB: I'd like to meet you. Really. But I am wondering if you're one of the guys that just likes to talk and talk and never commits to a meeting
guy: like talking and meeting and playing but I got to feel comfortable first and be ready mentally, GB
guy: I don't want to feel like a whore !!
GB: ok sure
guy: it may be easier for you as you're experienced and had a bf
GB: yes that's true
guy: to me, it's a new step
GB: yes of course
guy: and never try that before, i hope you understand
GB: yes of course
guy: u will be my first guy
GB: my advice though is to meet me (or someone) soon. You can worry endlessly and never get to the point of meeting someone. It's always a step in the dark something like this, so unfortunately you really need the NIKE attitude "Just do it" !!!

We chat a bit about a possible meeting date, but then he’s back to asking questions

guy: do u have any cock pics you can send me
GB: sry no - that would make ME feel like a whore. Lets discuss how to arrange a meeting. Would monday eve be any good?
guy: I'm thinking to book a hotel room for the first time meeting

The dilemma is simple. If the guy is a time-waster and has no intention of ever meeting me, I should just quit the chat immediately because he’s not being honest. But if he is being honest, and all this indecision is because he really hasn’t ever been with a guy before, then the kind thing to do is to try and coax him into meeting me so that he can get his first time behind him.

GB: do you have any idea where?
guy: I want the first time to be special
GB: don't expect too much from your first meeting, as I said, "Just do it" !!
guy: I want fun and passion and good experience and to feel your flesh longer and want to make you cum a few times
GB: ok sure
guy: do u like 69 together
GB: yes, but as I said, we need to work out how to meet, further discussion about activities isn't necessary
guy: what is your stats
GB: stats not necessary since you've seen my pic
guy: is your cock big
GB: if you want to discuss meeting, thats fine with me
guy: want to discuss meeting and sex too. i'm dripping and very horny
GB: ok, but the way it works with me, is that once I've decided its ok to meet someone, there's no point talking about sex any more, because its so much better meeting up face to face. So if you're going to talk and not ever meet, I'm sorry but I'm not interested in just talk
guy: i want both, please don't be so hard on me
GB: it looks as though you can't meet today, but I'd like to meet you sometime
GB: I don't mean to be hard on you, but I've got other things to do today, sorry
GB: I've been chatting to you for well over an hour I think, because I'd like to meet you

There’s a pause, he’s not saying anything. And then

guy: I want to wank off with you online GB

Finally he tells me something I can believe!

GB: I don't do that, I only have sex with guys face to face, cybersex is very third rate
guy: I will cum any min now
GB: well I wish I woz there, but I can't help you at this distance, I wish I cud
guy: love your hands holding my cock and balls
GB: sure, anyway happy to meet but must go now. Let me know if you wanna meet. xxx

And I quit the chat. So it was the wank factor after all! But perhaps he is genuine in that he hasn’t met up with a guy for a session before? Was I too hard on him?

Thursday, April 13, 2006


When I got home from my long weekend in the English countryside recently, boyfriend number 1 had some news for me about his family.

"You know my nephew who works for a bank in the city?" starts boyfriend number 1.

"Yes of course."

"Well he's only gone and got a woman pregnant". Boyfriend number 1 seems quite angry. “We think the girl took advantage of him.”

“In what way?” I ask. I’m confused! Isn’t it normally the guy who takes advantage of the girl?

“Well it turns out that she’s already got two other babies, fathered by two different men!”

“So she wanted to get pregnant just to get maintenance payments out of him?” I reply, astounded. I guess I live in quite a cosy world because I had no idea that such women existed!

“Yes exactly”, says boyfriend number 1. “My barber told me recently about a couple of cases he’s heard about, but I never thought that it would happen in my family. The mother lives in social housing of course!”

I guess that makes sense. That kind of woman probably originally wanted the first child so as to get priority status for cheap rented housing from her local council.

“My nephew's mother demanded a DNA test of course”, continues boyfriend number 1, “but it came back affirmative so I guess he’s stuck with it.”

The irony of the situation is that while boyfriend number 1’s nephew has a child he doesn’t want, I’d actually love to know that somewhere in the world there’s a child who could call me father. So if there are any women in the world that need a father for their child then I'm an ideal candidate. I can’t believe that it’s that easy to find a guy like me who’s successful, intelligent (with two degrees from one of the very best universities in the UK), and from a family with an excellent genetic profile too!

Monday, April 10, 2006

A long weekend in the English countryside

English countryside (grey weather thrown in at no extra cost)I like to keep in touch with a wide variety of friends. I’m still in contact with a few friends from when I was at school, other friends from my university days, and yet more friendships have developed with people who were originally just colleagues or neighbours. So I’ve got quite a few friends, even without counting all my gay friends (and boyfriends!).

After the hiatus last month which prevented me from going on a short holiday with boyfriend number 2, I definitely need a break from my standard routine, so I decide to visit a friend for a long weekend. I choose F, the friend I turned to for advice last year before telling boyfriend number 1 about boyfriend number 2. A big advantage of visiting F is that I can talk honestly with him about my life and relationship problems, because F is one of the very few people who know the truth. Another advantage of visiting F is that he's straight, with a wife and two kids, so boyfriend number 1 won't need to worry about what I'm getting up to.

But will it be convenient for F to put me up for a few nights? Luckily he was free towards the end of March, so two and a half weeks ago I set off on the long train journey needed to visit him at his rural home in the north of England.

Wild hawk on hilltopThe countryside where F lives is beautiful, although the weather was a bit grey and rainy for my entire visit. Between the vigorous walks and the hearty home cooking we talk about everything under the sun. At one point he brings me up to date with his brother's sex life.

"So how's your brother doing following his divorce?" I ask.

"Well for a while he had quite an exciting sex life".

"How did he manage that?"

"He discovered that there are lots of Bridget Jones types in London", says F with a mischievous grin on his face. "He's not the dischevelled guy you probably remember when he was a student, he really does scrub up quite well. So he spent many months jumping from the bed of one lonely woman to the next".

"You make him sound quite athletic!"

"Well I think he got a bit of help - apparently Viagra didn't do his reputation any harm at all."

In spite the numerous spam e-mails I get on this subject I am yet to try Viagra, though I would be surprised if I hold out forever. "I thought viagra was for older guys", I query, "your brother can't even be 40 yet".

"Actually one of the guys in the village near here was telling me about his Viagra experience", replies F, changing the direction of the conversation slightly. "Apparently it took 24 hours to wear off completely. He didn't have a stiffy for 24 hours of course, however the slightest stimulation or naughty thought and Boing, up he went, ready for action!"

"So has your brother settled down now?"

"Well he seems to have been with the same woman now for over a year, so I guess so. But what about you?"

"Well, as you know, I still love boyfriend number 1, but I'm not suited to a monogamous lifestyle."

"So how many other guys to you see?", asks F. Knowing F's love of scandal, I have a suspicion that this is the question that he's been waiting to ask me!

"Well, one way or another, I probably had encounters with 50 to 60 guys last year."

F seems stunned by my answer.

"GB that's quite impressive!"

"In a straight context I guess, but not in a gay context. Many gay guys have a lot more encounters than that. And it wasn't full on sex with all those guys of course by any means. That's hard to achieve in the gym sauna where I met quite a few of the guys in the first part of the year! Unfortunately the gym sauna was closed last year so I'm not hooking up with as many guys now."

By the end of the weekend we've explored all the different angles and possible outcomes. F's main concern is that even if boyfriend number 1 agrees to an open relationship, he might not really be happy with it so we could both just end up making each other miserable. F usually has good insight into this kind of problem so I'll certainly be taking his thoughts into account in the weeks and months ahead.

Thursday, April 06, 2006

Another session with the Turkish guy

At the start of February I had a good session with a Turkish guy called T. After this original meeting I was keen to meet up with him again, however it doesn’t seem polite to try and meet the same guy too often. So it wasn’t until around a month after the original meeting that I started looking out for him online.

On the morning of the Saturday almost four weeks ago, I spotted him logged into gaydar so I sent him an online message to ask him whether we could meet up again that weekend. I got a reply quite quickly saying that he was working from home and had quite a lot to do, but that it might be possible to meet later in the afternoon. But in the end it wasn’t possible.

However late morning on the following Saturday I spot him online again. Perhaps in view of the failed meeting from the previous weekend he’ll make more of an effort to meet me this time, so again I send him an online message:

GB: Hi T, pity we couldn’t meet last weekend, but perhaps you’ll have some time this weekend? xxx
T: yes this weekend isn’t so busy, lets keep in touch x

Hmmm, promising but inconclusive, perhaps he’s just being coy? Well I fancy meeting him now, and faint heart never won gorgeous guy so I decide to be bold

GB: Well I’m just off to the gym but would be really nice 2 visit u first, I could be at ur place within 30 mins?
T: great I fancy a quickie

A perfect result! I’ve got all his details from my previous visit so everything is in order.

GB: gr8, see u soon!

I rush round the house to get my gym kit together and head off. Everything goes according to plan and in under 30 minutes I’m walking through his front door again.

“Hi, how’ve you been keeping?” I say, giving him a peck on his lips.

“Well, I’ve been quite busy actually!”

“Yeah, like last weekend. If you’re too busy for a bit of fun then that’s very busy in my book!”

He laughs. “Lets go upstairs this time :-)”

I follow him upstairs and into one of the bedrooms where there’s a futon on the floor. Kissing him gently on the lips, I rub his nipples through his t-shirt. Moving my hand downstairs to grope him through his loose track-suit bottoms, I can tell that he’s pleased to see me! Gradually we remove each other’s clothes and get down to business.

“Are you always this jolly?” he asks me half way through. Somehow he can tell I’m having a good time!

“Errr, yes actually, I think I probably am!” In general I think I am a happy person, and all the more so when I’m engaged in enjoyable activities.

Afterwards we head downstairs.

“Actually that’s my usual bedroom”, he says as we pass the other upstairs room, “but I’ve given it to some friends of mine who are staying with me this weekend. I just didn’t think it would be polite to have sex on their bed so we’ve just been using the spare room.”

I don’t bother to ask why he gave up his bedroom to his friends rather than giving them the spare room. Perhaps they don’t like futons?

“Can I get you anything to drink?” he offers once we’re downstairs.

“Thanks, a quick glass of water would be great.”

He disappears momentarily, returning with a pint glass full of water.

“I’m sorry about last weekend”, he says, handing me the water. “Once I get into my design work I find it hard to focus on anything else, and I had a big project to do. Today was ideal though because I haven’t yet started my next assignment.”

We chat for a few minutes while I finish my water.

“See you soon”, he says with a smile, waving me goodbye at the door.

He’s a really lovely guy, and he sounds keen to see me again. But if I see him again perhaps I should tell him about boyfriend number 1? I don’t want to mislead him and let him think that I’m potentially available to be his boyfriend. Both boyfriend number 2 and boyfriend number 3 knew about boyfriend number 1 from the start.

Sunday, April 02, 2006

An entertaining session before work

I don't often meet guys for fun before work, but when I do I always think I should try and do it more often because it puts me in a good mood for the rest of the day. In February I visited a "straight" guy for a bit of fun before work on Valentines day, and last month too there was one occasion when a bit of fun before work was possible.

It was on the Tuesday morning almost three weeks ago. I'm logged into gaydar while eating my breakfast when I receive an online message from a guy who's looking for someone to visit him as soon as possible. So I reply to him saying that I'm interested, but tell him to contact me in the gaydar chat system. The chat system is a much more immediate way of communicating, and since this meeting needs to be arranged quickly if it's to happen, much more appropriate for the present situation.

But then I see that he's already in the chat system, so why did he send me an online message? Perhaps because with online messages you can ask to be notified when the other person reads the message, whereas in the chat system you can't get feedback like that. Anyway, I decide to take the initiative so instead of waiting for him to contact me, I use the chat system and contact him

GB: hi mate, I just replied to the online msg you sent me, I could visit you before work if you're not too far away from my office
guy: sounds good, where's your office?

It turns out that he isn't too far from where I work so it's very feasible. After exchanging pics and mobile phone numbers, I get his address before logging off and heading for the bathroom. Twenty minutes later I'm in a cab on my way to visit him.

When I arrive though, it's not obvious where to find his apartment block so I give him a call on his mobile

"Hi this is GB, I've arrived at the road you said but I can't find your building."

"OK, see the tall tower block?" he says.

There's only one, so its not difficult. "Sure."

"Well my apartment is on the 16th floor! See you soon :-)"

Wow, he must have some good views. In fact the entrance to the tower block is on a different road to the road he told me about when we were chatting on gaydar so I have a short walk to reach the entrance. But within five minutes I'm in the lift on the way up to the 16th floor. Once I've rung the doorbell it only takes him a few seconds to answer.

"Hi come in, don't mind Rover."

He's got a dog! Once I'm through the door Rover pounces on me, jumping up trying to sniff my crotch and check me out the way dogs do, although I guess his owner might be doing something similar soon. In fact I've always liked dogs, and although in many ways I'd like to have a dog myself, I wouldn't like the responsibility of looking after it so I doubt it'll ever happen.

"He seems friendly enough", I reply smiling. Face to face Rover's owner seems very friendly, and a reasonably good match to pic he sent me on gaydar too.

"Actually he's a 'she'. Let's go into the main room."

I follow him along a short corridor with Rover in tow. There are two black leather sofas in the room, but nowhere obvious to put my suit that will be safe from Rover.

"Can I borrow a hanger for my suit?"

"Yeah sure, let me fetch one."

While he's getting me a hanger I admire the views.

"Here you are", he says.

"Is Rover OK in the room with us?" I ask.

"Don't worry, she's used to me having visitors. Now that she's got to know you she should just curl up in her basket."

Rover's owner is just wearing a dressing gown, so I guess that underneath he's already naked. As promised, Rover seems to have lost interest in me, but her owner on the other hand watches me closely while I undress.

"I always enjoy watching guys strip", he says casually.

Actually, so do I! Soon I've placed my suit carefully on the hanger, hopefully out of Rover's reach, and I'm now just wearing my undershorts. I smile as I walk over to where the guy's sitting.

"Can I help you with that?" he says, reaching out to feel me through my undershorts. Neither of us are in a hurry and gradually we start exploring each other's bodies.

A short while later I'm lying naked on one of the black leather sofas, enjoying the attention that I'm getting, when out of the corner of my eye I spot Rover playing with a black sock.

"Where did your dog get that sock from?"

"Don't worry, even if it's yours she only wants a bit of a sniff."

A bitch with a male sock odour fetish! Well I guess as fetishes go it's relatively harmless. Relaxing a bit more I manage to put Rover's antics out of my mind, and with each of us playing with our chosen objects, all three of us have an enjoyable time.

"Can I get you a drink", he offers afterwards.

"Thanks, a glass of water would be great."

"Yes I think I need to drink a lot of water too. I was out drinking last night and I need to re-hydrate."

Returning with a couple of glasses of water, he hands me one of the glasses before sitting down on the other sofa.

"So have you lived here very long?" I ask.

"A couple of years now I guess".

And with that, I end up getting virtually his whole life story! He was born in Cambridgeshire but his family moved to London soon after he was born, first Kilburn then Bow where he went to the local grammar school. But with musical talents he then ended up getting a place in a specialist music school in central London, where he learned to play the violin. And so on.

"So what do you do for a living now?"

"Actually I'm a headhunter".

"Really? I sometimes get involved in recruitment for the bank that I work for. Do you ever handle finance candidates?"

"It's not really our speciality to be honest. We focus on high calibre senior management for some of the smaller listed companies. FTSE 250 companies, that kind of level. Be careful, once you get me talking about work I can go on for hours!"

Well if you ask me you're pretty good at talking whatever the subject is, I'm not sure it'll make any difference!

"Human resource departments!" he continues. "If only I could do my job without having to go through human resource departments!! If you ask me they're there to prevent good recruitment. They'll obstruct me by saying that I'm not on their PSL. No, I don't want to be on your PSL, that's for run-of-the-mill recruitment, not the kind of candidates that I represent."

Luckily I know that PSL means Preferred Supplier List, i.e. the list of recruitment firms that a company or bank prefers to deal with. Even though he obviously likes the sound of his own voice, listening to him is very entertaining. But eventually I need to leave, otherwise I'll be late for work. I have to retrieve my sock from Rover's basket of course, but it's still in tact so no harm done.

Sometimes I wonder whether I enjoy the random social contact of these situations almost as much as the sex. It was certainly fascinating talking to him.