Another enjoyable night in Bangkok

"Dream Boys, Hot Males, Fresh Boys, New Boys … " I say to my friend C as we wander down a road in central Bangkok, "if one wanted a guy from a place like that, how on earth would one decide?"

"I mean, 'dream boys' sound good," I continue, "presumably they're the kind of perfect guy from one's dreams, but do you want a guy that's new or has been used before? So perhaps 'fresh boys' are better, because 'fresh' presumably means 'unused' :-)?"

I'm with my friend C, who's also known as the blogger Close Encounters, and we're walking down an alley in central Bangkok. The alley is full of bars where scantily clad young men work, often putting on X-rated shows for the bar's customers. And of course, I'm quite aware that the guys inside all the different bars here will be much the same, in spite of the different bar names!

"The guys standing on the stage in side that bar didn't look that happy," says C.

"Indeed :-(," I say, agreeing with C, "and the drinks in these places will probably be quite expensive. Let's go somewhere else!"

Soon we're sitting down outside Telephone Pub, in Silom Road Soi 4. We order some beers, and looking around, we can't avoid noticing some of the other customers.

"This tourist in front of us is definitely being chatted up by a money boy," I say quietly to C.

Close Encounters surveys the situation and nods his head.

"But I think it's actually the other way round," replies C, "it's the tourist who's making most of the effort, not the money boy!"

This bar is possibly exactly the same bar that I visited when I went to Bangkok ten years ago. Back then, my Thai Friend B thought it was OK for tourists like me to hook up with money boys. On that occasion, I did end up with a lovely Thai guy in bed with me :-), but whether he was actually a money boy or not was unclear!

Back to today and the tourist in front of us reaches out and touches the object of his desire gently on the arm. I have to agree with C that the money boy isn't trying to sell himself, instead the client is hoping to buy. I can't help wondering how much money will change hands, but whatever the amount, it doesn't matter. Just as B recommended me ten years ago, both sides will get what they're looking for.

Part of the fun of being in bars like this is watching the other customers, so we decide to move to another table where we'll have a better view.

"That could be another tourist with a money boy over there," says C before he takes a sip of his beer, "can you see them? They're opposite us, immediately to the right of the table with three guys on it."

"Oh yes, very probably :-)," I reply grinning. "They haven't reached the touching each other stage yet, but the money boy has got his legs wide open. Perhaps he's hoping that his knee will make contact with the tourist's knee!"

We start chatting about other things and a little later, when we look back at the table opposite, we see that the money boy's knee has indeed made contact with the tourist's knee.

"Where is boyfriend K tonight?" asks C, losing interest in money boy seduction techniques.

"He didn't want to come out tonight in case he drinks too much!" I answer truthfully, "We've flying out tomorrow, and he doesn’t need a hangover. Boyfriend K can be a bit of a party animal, sometimes he doesn't know when to stop!"

The conversation moves on, and when I glance over at the table opposite, they seem to be touching each other more and more. Just friendly pats on the forearm or shoulder, but exactly the kind of thing that one does when getting to know another person, as a prelude to more intimate activities.

"So what are you planning to do tomorrow?" I ask C.

"Not sure yet," he replies, "but this is Bangkok, I'm sure I'll find something interesting to do :-)"

"Actually you've never been to Babylon, have you?" I say, "As far as I'm aware, it's still the best gay Sauna complex in the world :-), so if you have nothing else to do I'd certainly recommend it!"

But before C can answer, he indicates with his eyes over to the table opposite where the money boy and tourist were talking and touching each other. The tourist is standing behind the money boy now, and massaging his shoulders. And then suddenly, with a smile and a kiss, the tourist takes his backpack and wanders away towards the main road. The money boy looks slightly upset.

"He looks quite cute, don't you think GB?" asks C.

"Yeah, I guess, but with money boys you can ever be sure where they've been!"

"But you can't be absolutely sure that he's a money boy, can you?"

"Well no," I admit, "but it seems quite likely to me."

"Actually, he's occasionally glancing over at us now :-)."

"Well if you want a money boy experience, we could invite him over to join us :-)," I suggest, "As far as I'm concerned, what happens in Bangkok stays in Bangkok!"

"Indeed GB," agrees C, "but one of my friends back in London likes to remind me that that's only true if you don't have to visit the clap clinic!"

We continue chatting, looking at the various other customers of the bars in the alley, but I also notice the money boy glancing at us.

"You're right," I admit to C, "he is looking at us now and then. If you're interested in him, then we should invite him to join us."

"No! Then we'd have to make small talk. I'd rather just take him back to my hotel and fuck him :-)! I've got a better idea."

And with that, C pulls out his phone and starts looking at his gay dating apps.

"Look at him checking his phone all the time," explains C, "I bet he's looking at his apps, I wonder which one he's on …"

C, bless him, is on ALL the gay dating apps. Long term readers of this blog will know that I've used some of them in the past, but having been with boyfriend K for 6 years now, I'm quite out of touch with that world.

"Wow," says C, "this is such a target rich environment, one of the best places I've ever been for finding a guy online. There are loads of men within only a few meters :-). Hey, look at this pic GB, that's not him is it?"

"Yes it is!" I answer, looking at a photo of a slim young topless Asian guy on a beach somewhere, "that's definitely him."

Soon C is chatting to the money boy on Hornet.

"Since he's been looking at us a lot," says C, "I'm going to ask him which of us he fancies."

"OK," I say, "and what's the answer?"

There's a short pause while C waits for the money boy to answer.

"He says he likes the look of both of us!"

"Well what else was he going to say?" I reply, "A money boy isn't going to offend a potential customer, or rule out the possibility of a threesome! I wonder if money boys charge more for threesomes?"

Ignoring my question, C continues chatting online with the money boy. Although I used to chat to guys online a lot, I always preferred chatting face to face. So it seems mildly bizarre to me that at this point both C and the money boy know exactly who each other are, but still prefer to chat on an app even though they're within only a few metres of each other.

"Now he says that it looks like you and me are boyfriends!" says C, updating me on the conversation.

I laugh at the suggestion that me and C are boyfriends, but I'm not surprised that we look very comfortable in each other's company. I've read C's blog, and he's read this one, so we know all each other's secrets!

"I've got a flight tomorrow, and I don't want to be a gooseberry," I tell C, "so I'll go home if you promise to let me know how much money he asks for, even if he says it's for his sick mother?"

"Ha! But I don't think he's a money boy GB," protests C. "Anyway, of course I'll tell you what happens :-)."

As I walk up the alley towards the main road, I smile at the money boy and blow him a quick kiss. He smiles back at me with a big grin on his face.

I get back and go to bed with boyfriend K as usual, and when I wake up there are some messages on WhatsApp from C timed at just before 1am.

C: Just said goodbye to the guy. He wasn't even Thai, he's a tourist too!

C: And he didn’t ask for money for his mother :)

C: Thank you for a fun evening

I send a quick reply

GB: Poor guy, he didn't even get to sleep in a comfortable bed for the night!

A little later I get a reply

C: Ha ha - I’m sure he had a comfortable bed at his own hotel.

A couple of days later, I get an email from C to tell me that he's done a post on his blog about the evening. I find it fascinating to read the same events described from C's point of view. Surely it wasn't me who first suggested that we visit the erotic gay bars?

Thinking about the night now, I realise that when I used to use the gay dating apps, I was usually hoping for more than what C looks for. Perhaps C sometimes looks for more, but on this occasion C clearly just wanted sex. He didn't want to chat to the guy in the bar beforehand, and they parted company soon after the activities finished. But I was always interested to get to know the guy much more. I did enjoy starting out by meeting up face to face to chat about whatever, during which time the body language would help me work out what kind of guy he was. After any activities, if the activities had been enjoyable and were at night then I'd love to fall sleep with the guy so that we could wake up the next day together. I love feeling the warmth of a naked man, lying in bed next to me, and to this day it's still true that I sleep less well when I'm in a bed on my own.

Ever since I first met C, he's been happy as a single guy, whereas I've usually had one (or more!) boyfriends. So my conclusion is that our different approach to hooking up with strangers is directly related to our desire, or lack of desire in C's case, to have boyfriends.