Sunday, December 19, 2021

What's the definition of a gay slut?

It's late at night in a downtown gay bar, and we've all had a bit too much to drink. There's me and boyfriend K, my old friend D his husband W, and a relatively new friend called N with his young boyfriend R.

"R just asked me if you've ever been a slut?" N asks me in a matter-of-fact tone of voice. The tone of voice seems slightly inappropriate given the nature of the question.

"Well," I giggle, unfazed by the personal nature of the question, "it depends when you mean by slut?"

While N is considering his response, I consider my dating and cruising history and can't help volunteering a simple answer to the question.

"Whatever definition you think is appropriate," I continue, "the answer is probably 'Yes'. My relationship with ex-boyfriend S came to an end after 18 years because I couldn't keep my trousers up!"

"I think a slut is a guy who's had two different cocks on the same day," says N, ignoring my confession, but answering my request for a definition of slut :-).

"Shouldn't that be 'two or more'?" I query with another giggle.

I glance over at D and W who had been listening to this conversation, and having heard N's definition, they've both got guilty looks on their face.

"I'm not a slut because I'm a virgin," says boyfriend K playfully. Everyone laughs, because boyfriend K is most certainly NOT a virgin!

Although N's definition of a gay slut is ostensibly quite a good one, it strikes me that most gay men go through a promiscuous phase during which they're likely to have two (or more!) cocks on the same day. And a definition of slut which includes pretty much all gay men seems a bit unhelpful.

Even though I doubt that I have any blog readers anymore, if anyone happens to see this post and has a better definition of slut, then please leave a comment :-).

13 comments:

Nick said...

Hi, I am a brazilian reader that keeps reading your blog, but don't have better definition of slut...

Nick said...

Now that a read this: "Even though I decided to quit investment banking a few years ago, I'm not going to change the name of my main blog..." So... after quit banking what did you start doing for a living? And now you are doing what? Just curiosity!

Anonymous said...

I think people need to understand sex and love are not always the same thing, there might be a correlation there, but sex to be is no different to hobby such as golf or tennis, and some people play golf more often than the others and it's ok, as long as they don't let it get away with more important things such as marriage lol

The concept of "slut" should not exist, and there should be no shame around it, be sex positive!

Anonymous said...

So nice to see you are active on this blog again, I used to read it all the time years ago then you posted less and less. Hope you write more for us!

RB said...

This makes me feel better. After a long weekend where I had sex with three different guys on the three days, I felt like a slut. Now I don't feel so bad. Haha

It's all relative I guess.

Unknown said...

Used to read your blog a long ago and gay banker just hit me out of the blue. Glad you are still around here.

Anonymous said...

Can you please continue blogging on life post banking. Would be great to hear of options post life after work and also your amazing agony guncle posts

Anonymous said...

Think I first came across your blog in either 2007 or 2012. Have come back semi regularly since.

Nice to see you're still posting, even if infrequently. Your personality/ease with life seems to have changed significantly though from when I first read your blog to later submissions

Rubberist said...

My definition would be: "if you feel like a slut, then you're a slut".

GB said...

An apology. When I posted this over a year ago, I promptly forgot all about it and never came back to check comments. So I am sorry for ignoring all the kind readers who bothered to leave a comment. I still enjoy blog writing so maybe one day I should take up blogging again, more than once a year!

GB xxx

GB said...

@Nick, I am very lucky to have a hobby that makes me a decent amount of money, so since I retired from banking over 10 years ago, I've been focusing on that. GB xxx

Anonymous said...

Hey GB. Would it be possible to say what your hobby is or give some options on hobbies one can monetise? I work in Finance and am currently looking at post retirement options…

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