Asia holiday 2005: at the airport in the UK, waiting to fly to Singapore

My feelings are still as confused as they were a week and a half ago when I realised that boyfriend number 2 would be coming on holiday with me instead of boyfriend number 1 (Boyfriend Number 2 - Past the point of no return?). I'm heart-broken that boyfriend number 1 isn't with me on such a fabulous holiday, but ecstatic to be going with P who I've decided to call boyfriend number 2.

Whenever I'm away on a business trip I always phone boyfriend number 1 once (it not twice) a day. But on this trip I'm going to avoid contacting him. It's too painful, because I feel he should be with me. I've explained this to him and I think he understands.

Of course boyfriend number 2 knows about boyfriend number 1, and would understand if I have to contact him sometimes. But I think we'll have a much better time together if I don't need to contact him.

When was the last time I was monogamous for three and a half weeks? I have no idea but I'm pretty sure it's well over 5 years ago. I've often been monogamous for a couple of weeks at a time when I've been on two week holidays with boyfriend number 1, but I haven't taken such a long holiday since I was a student.

At this stage, I'm just hoping that me and P (i.e. boyfriend number 2) manage to have a good holiday together, because we don't know each other that well. We spent several nights together in 2001, then one night together in 2002 (Asia trip 2002: Friday, final day), and recently we only had time for a snack dinner on my last visit to Singapore in Feb 2005 (Singapore trip Feb 2005. Monday, final day). Whatever happens, it's going to be an adventure.