Saturday, November 11, 2006

Inappropriate toilet facilities

Clean, inviting floor inside a lift?I'm at a birthday party for one of the guys from the gym I go to, chatting to another guy who works in Human Resources for a major bank in the City.

"So I guess you're the guys who get to see all the salaries and bonuses then?" I say mischievously.

"Well some of us do, when required", he replies, "but that side of the job is all pretty boring actually. The interesting stuff for me is dealing with the unusual situations that can arise".

"Uh huh", I say, "such as?"

"For example, we had to get involved when they discovered who was crapping in the lifts about five years ago".

"I BEG YOUR PARDON?"

"Yeah, it wasn't a one off incident either. Every now and then they'd discover a human turd in one of the lifts in our main building. So to workout who it was they installed cameras, and eventually they identified the culprit!"

What delights lurk behind those pristine lift doors?
"No, you're joking surely! Who was it then?"

"It turned out to be one of the female traders. A bit like people who attempt suicide but don't really want it to succeed, just a cry for help really. She couldn't cope with the power and stress of the job, and used to crap in the lift!"

7 comments:

muse-ic said...

I just hope the lift never broke down while a turd was in it + passengers!

How vile.

Snoskred said...

So was she like totally fired? :) Or did they offer her counselling to cope with this shitty obsession?

Oh, there's so many jokes I could make but I won't.. ;)

GBD said...

Mental note to read the post title before reading the rest of it, especially while eating dinner :-(

GBD xxx

China Blue said...

Just goes to show that huge salaries and bonuses mean nothing if you're reduced to taking dumps in the lift to get attention. Tragic!

xmichra said...

Oh my god. lol.. that is too funny! Sometimes you really have to ask "do I want to know the answer to this question"... :)

Dexter said...

I can hardly imagine the perverse satisfaction that she must have gotten from doing that...

Gay banker said...

Unfortunately I didn't discover the final outcome Snoskred because else someone interrupted, and the conversation changed direction! But from my own experience, a combination of counselling and the offer of a change of role is probably what happened. There are a lot of laws to protect employees, and if a bank isn't seen to do the right thing it can be very expensive for them if the disgruntled employee sues.

GB xxx