Monday, August 24, 2009

Male irrationality

I've written before about the advantages of chatting to guys just after they've shot their load. In connection with hunting for a boyfriend, it's what I call the gaydar advantage. But I've only recently realised just how true the converse is, namely that guys (including me of course!) can be completely irrational before we've shot our loads.

There have been several times this year when I've met up for a bit of fun with a guy that I've seen at least once before, and at the start of the hook-up it's been clear that there's only one thing on the other guy's mind. It's because I know what they're like after they've shot their load that I was able to spot the difference. Their eyes are slightly glazed over and it's just not possible to talk to them because without doubt they're intent on one thing to the exclusion of everything else! I know that I can be like that too, but perhaps because I'm a bit older than I used to be, I think I can control it more than when I was younger.

It's also true that some kind of behaviours, while seeming quite rational in a sexual context, seem slightly absurd or irrational in an everyday context. One example of this would the things that might be said while 'talking dirty' to one's partner. Furthermore, during gay activities it often happens that one guy will cum before the other guy, and having unloaded the guy that cums first becomes more rational. So in helping the other guy to cum, the guy that cums first is able to witness the full absurdity of male sexual behaviour, in full knowledge of the fact that if it had been the other guy that had cum first then the other guy would be witnessing his 'absurd' behaviour!

This truth about male irrationality explains several things. It certainly explains why guys can be so rude on the online cruising web sites, and why it will always be like that. It explains why hook-ups with guys that one meets online are less likely to happen the further forward that they're planned, because the further forward in time the meeting is planned for the more likely it is that another opportunity for sexual release will have presented itself to one of the guys involved. It also explains why guys, including me on some occasions, will waste so much time cruising. Until we've shot our loads we're powerless to engage in any more constructive pursuits!

So I'm glad that I've now got a boyfriend again :-). With a regular partner for activities now assured, I hope to be able to spend more time on other hobbies. Indeed, I've recently started learning one or two phrases in boyfriend T's home language. Now, I wonder whether anyone can guess the first phrase that I asked boyfriend T to each me?


Gabriel said...

have you eaten?

benniboi said...

Having boyfriend didn't stop you having more 'activities' in the past, or this time is slightly different? x

Mind Of Mine said...

I agree with this 100 percent..

I was with this guy recentley and he was talking dirty during and it was pretty hot.

However he kept it up after i came and it seemed so absurd and even embarrassing!

Shawn LI said...

"I love you" ?

Or "You are hot" lol

GaySocrates said...

Was it...
"Do you have any hair gel I can borrow?"

Kevin said...

This is why I decided to become abstinent, and so far successful for 1.5months. Get to focus on my hobbies much better this way.

Anonymous said...

Is it "FUCK ME HARD" or "ARE YOU HORNY" in Mandarin?

Andi said...

I guess it may be something similar to my first Spanish phrases that I learned from a Spanish guy I met a few times...

1. chupar me la
2. foyar me


Tony said...

Wo Ai Ni..
I love you?

notnowdear said...

"My camel has swallowed my false teeth, please direct me to a vet/dentist"

Preston said...

You are a lucky man, now that you have 'activities' on tap! haha. donn't we all wish it were that way.

Interestingly though, you say we act irrationally until we've shot our loads, but why is it that (and i hope this is not just the case for me), I pursue men for sex rather than just have a wank and return to rationality?

GB said...

Looks like a couple of you guessed correctly! When I wanted to learn a few words of boyfriend T's home language, without thinking I asked him to teach me to say "I love you" :-). He tells me that my pronunciation is reasonable, so now I'll whisper it to him while we're cuddling up together in bed! So well done to Shawn, and Tony :-), and hard luck do Gabriel, Gay Socrates, and the anonymous commentator.

As I said benniboi, cruising can waste so much time, so I hope to do much less in future.

Don't forget that if it had been him that had come first Mind of Mine, then your behaviour might have seemed absurd to him too!

I don't think that abstinence is a healthy choice, Kevin.

Sorry I don't speak Spanish, Andi, what do those phrases mean?

You're quite irrational, notnowdear!

That's a very interesting question Preston. I guess there's something in our psyche that wants company, in the same way that we seek out boyfriends.

Kisses to everyone, GB xxx